Should I go there?

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Ok so there is this guy at my school who is quite attractive, and funny and I think I kinda like him, but he is a bit of a stoner and I am quite the opposite like goody two shoes and what not and I am scared that if I go out with him or you know put myself out there that he would be a bad influence on me and yeah I don’t know please help…

Category: Tags: asked February 11, 2014

4 Answers

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accepted
In the interest of your own safety, find out more about the young man. Find out if he hangs around hard drug-users, and if he is involved in any illegal activity.

It is true that there are harmless stoners out there who just enjoy a smoke from time to time, but it also follows that weed is treated like a drug, and smokers do in fact tend to have friends who are into harder substances. Substance abusers do run together.

If he's just a harmless smoker, then go for it, and just be assertive that you're not interested in his habit, and he is not to ask you to try it. It's the same for any other relationship; boundaries.

Good luck.
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Hello Snusie! The fact that you are voicing your fear about him influencing you is already a sign to yourself that you know you might have a weakness. If you want to try to develop a friendship first, be careful! Bad company corrupts good morals. If you go in thinking that YOU will change him, then you'll definitely be a failure. Ask yourself why you want to date him. Sometimes to goody two shoes the rebellious side seems exciting. Speaking from experience, I have a friend who was very similar to you and she liked a guy similar to the one you like. Long story short, she dated him, ended up doing drugs and some other things she wasn't proud of, and broke up with him. He dove deeper into drug use and she had baggage that she had to carry around with her from the bad decisions she had made with him. While she was dating him, she wouldn't really listen to reason because she kept justifying him. She also found him hard to shake so when she finally did, it was a relief to her.
So, if he is a real user, then be careful. Everyone has their problems, but drugs are one problem that can ruin your life now and in the future. I have an uncle who took drugs when he was younger then stopped and he is still paying for the after affects both physically and psychologically. Think to yourself, "If I were to marry this guy, what kind of influence would he have on our children." I know you aren't thinking of marrying him, but this is a good way to evaluate guys. I hope this helps!
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The most important thing to remember about relationships is that, it's not about the look on the outside, it is about the look on the inside. It's about liking the person for who they are. If this boy can brighten your day with his mere vibe and attitude, then pursue him. Just because he is a stoner does not mean he is not a good guy. Do not ever let him push you to do something that you would not be willing to do yourself (this is peer pressure). Take some time, talk to him, think about your decision, and act accordingly. Make sure he is worth your time and energy. I hope this gives you some insight. I wish you the best of luck!
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Thank you guys all of your answers have been so helpful!!