Hey all,
it’s been awhile since I’ve logged on properly, but things have been really busy but amazing these past few months.
I do need some advice though as I am tossing and turning over a relasrelationship issue that I just cannot get my head around.
I’ve been seeing this guy since around Christmas 2014. We had known each other about 6months prior but I actually thought he was in a relationship so never pursued anything. Anyway, we started hanging out anf eventually started dating and sleeping together etc. He is absolutely lovely. However when we started seeing each other he told me that before me there was this other woman who he was interested but nothing ever became of it. I didn’t even give it a second thought because it didn’t phase me at all. I had crushes before him too, haha.
However today he asked me where I thought our relationship was going. I said I didn’t know, we have only been together a few months and I hadn’t thought about it to be honest. Then he made a weird remark about “do you ever wonder if the grass is greener on the other side?”. It shocked me. I didn’t really understand where the comment came from and so I didn’t really take it seriously. But later when I asked what he meant, he said he had been thinking about this girl he had been interested in before me.
Instantly, alarm bells are ringing in my mind. I was in a really unhealthy relationship for a long time a few years ago, and I have put up with men cheating and manipulating me in most my relationships. I promised myself the next time I would not be someone’s second choice, and would never let a man use me or make me feel like that again. Obviously it isn’t at that point yet. And I dont want to blow it out of proportion.
But I just get this feeling that he is settling for his second choice. I said this to him only a few hours ago and he replied with “it’s not real though, it’s just a fantasy of a missed opportunity.” again, alarm bells.
I’m not stupid. I know that this isn’t okay. But what do I do? We have really connected. And to be honest he is the first man I have enjoyed being with in years. I actually have feelings for him. But at the same time, I refuse to be the girl that ignores the signs and gut feelings until he breaks her heart.
Or am I just overacting? He sent me a good night text saying “she means nothing, just a missed opportunity that I can’t help think about. I want to be with you”.
what do you guys think?