Should I end this friendship? Or Should I just move on?

I have this best friend who I really love for five years. We were like magnets. Almost all our personalities are the same. But I also have a crush who’s recently hanging out with the two of us. And my best friend is completely aware of me having a crush on that guy. Then because of school projects and other commitments, I had a hard time hanging out with them. Then one day I called my best friend and asked if she wanted to hang out with me but then she said “im with my boyfriend”. She wouldn’t tell who it was, so i let it pass. Then at school I saw her holding hands with my crush. And that’s when i realized they were dating when I was not with them. Worst part here, is that they actually lied the whole time. The reason why my crush started hanging out with us is that he was already courting her that time. But they kept it all along. Making me like the third wheel of this friendship.

Should I just throw away five years of friendship? Or Should I move on? I was thinking on throwing five years of friendship, but damn. It’s five freakin years and she’s a part of my life now. But it’s also hard to move on because she lied. I hate being lied. And she’s super duper aware that I had a crush on that guy. Why didn’t she just tell me that he’s courting her?

Help.

Category: Family Tags: Best Friend Friend asked September 19, 2014

link

Jelly Mabria

3 Answers

i don't think you should end it because (from an outsider's point of view) ending friendship because os something like a school crush is not really worth it.
i'm not saying she's innocent i mean she did lie to you, but if you look a it from her point of view, how would you feel if she told you she likes that boy too? you will be hur, she was stupid to lie and hurt you instead of being honest and hurting you but i doubt she did that to piss you off or anything like that.
i suggest you go talk to her, and you should (as her best friend) support her love, even if you love him too, and that will definitely deepen your friendship with her and that chances of it happen again will be very low too.
it is better to lose a crush that is not confirmed than a friendship that might just last forever.

link

maha

They made this way harder than it could have been. Lately you have been busy, so I suggest you keep being busy, give yourself some time away from her and him to get it out of your system, and start looking for more friends, because your ex best friend is bad at talking about stuff. You don't need to decide now if you want her out or not, it's understandable if you want some time on your own and it doesn't mean your friendship is over. With time you can try to forgive her while keeping in mind she will prefer putting up an elaborate lie rather than being honest, when being honest will hurt you but not being honest will hurt and confuse you more.

link

rinseandrep

7,397

If she had been a good friend, she would have told you what was happening, instead of lying to you. Both of you were placed in a difficult situation, the guy you were crushing on was actually interested in her, and she in him, which put her in an awkward situation just as much as it put you there. This can make things very difficult because while you professed how you felt, she kept her feelings quiet (perhaps, so as not to cause a rift with you).

This could have been handled better, but it wasn't and someone was bound to get hurt. I would distance yourself from them and rethink your values in a good friendship, because honesty is important and lying to you is not. But think carefully as to whether its worth ending the friendship. Evaluate how you feel, and do consider that perhaps her secrecy was a way to avoid hurting you even more. Perhaps she felt unable to tell you what was happening. Perhaps they had started dating even before you professed how you felt.

When you are ready I would talk to her and go from there. Hear what she has to say about the situation and make an informed decision.

link

Syropae

321