Self harm and Anxiety

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I’ve been self harming since May , I still have scars from then , white marks. No one know I do this or feel this way , not my parents , only 1 friend that I don’t really enjoy right now. Self harm is my way to take away the pain , the mental pain that lives inside me everyday , I’m going on holiday in a month with my family , it’s summer there so I would have to wear short sleeves , my mom wouldn’t pack long sleeves. My recent cuts will hopefull heal , if they are still visible hopefully I can cover them with concealer . Don’t tell me to stop self harming , please , it’s an addiction , it takes away the pain , it helps me , it makes me feel strong. My anxiety is weird , I don’t feel anxious about something for along time , I have different bubbles of anxiety , in school we do something with the grade and every time I become so anxious , normally I don’t get spurts of anxiety at school.

People call me goth at school . 1. We have a school uniform , I can’t wear black even if I wanted to . 2. I DONT WEAR BLACK 3. They say I have a dark soul , what do they fucking except , I have fucking depression , it’s not called being goth or emo , it’s fucking called hating your self .

I have no idea how to tell my parents , we don’t have a very serous relationship , if we talk it’s mostly jokes .when I was like six I did something really bad and my mums face traumatised me , I’m still afraid of that , I’m afraid of doing that agin and I’m afraid of seeing that reaction , it scares me , it makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong , 1. When I was six , I was so young 2. What I did it wasn’t my fault. I don’t like that face , it’s my mums shocked face , and if I tell her I’m afraid,that ill see it , that I will regret everything . What do I do

Category: Tags: asked August 13, 2015

1 Answer

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i feel you girl....you could do one thing to help control your self harm..try putting a rubber band on your wrist and every time you feel like cutting you just snap the band..that feels almost like cutting and it will not cause you so much harm..this technique has helped me overcome my self harm and about your parents...if you feel like telling them is a good option then go and tell them about it, i will not tell you to tell them because you know them better and yeah if you feel its okay to tell them and you trust then then tell them or else dont. hope i helped


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