Relationship struggles

I don't know about the second part of that, but I totally understand the first part. I'm the same way, I'm ok-ish around guys I'm not interested in as long as I've known them for a while (like work people) but new guys I'm awkward around, and if it's a guy I like, forget it. I'm a nervous wreck. The one and only time I kissed a guy I kinda got weird and like, too lovey and started talking about everything, then backed away for like 2 months. My guess is, if you're like me, it might be a relationship fear thing. I've always been terrified of getting in to a bad relationship, so the second I saw myself starting to fall for this guy I freaked out. What kinda helped me was talking to people on here, especially guys, basically to see what a potential relationship looked like from their viewpoint and how they would react to someone like me. As for what it's called, the closest thing I can think is that it's a type of social anxiety.

It's simple, you're just being careful I think, it means you're just securing yourself from risk though you aren't aware about it. But that would be pretty normal, because unlike the boys that you're talking about, you really know the girls around you better than them so you're comfortable doing such things.

This is normal. You've probably had sisters or friends that are girls your whole life, so you're more comfortable around girls. To make yourself more comfortable with men, make a guy friend that you aren't attracted to. You then can learn to be more normal-feeling around men. It'll feel completely normal to flirt with a guy, and possibly even reach for his hand first! You can do it. :)