My boyfriend and i have been together for just over a year but knew each other briefly years ago. He was in jail for 4 years and our relationship began only a few months after he got out. We saw each other a few times and began talking and hit it off immediately and it just developed from there. He is a self admitted player…held seriously relationships in the past but always played around and cheated. we’ve never had this problem directly but have been talking recently. He regrets not playing the field as he put it when he first got out but dosent regret me or our relationship. he says he knows he wants to be with me but thinks he should have gotten over his urge to basically screw other girls before settling down with me. I can only think of letting him go to find what he needs to find in life but i dont honestly know what else to do. i honestly dont know if i can let him leave me to just mess around and then us get back together. any advice on what i could do? i mean this man has said he wants to marry me since early on but at the same time he isnt ready for that, but im not willing to just sit and wait around. its difficult….im very very much in love with him. im just so lost
In my opinion he is putting you in a really tough spot and kinda being manipulative.... my first thought if I was you is..."is he going to cheat and leave me". I understand you not wanting tO let him go out and hook up with people but you two will have to come up with something and talk things over because he might end up cheating anyway if he is really feeling those urges. You definitely need to look at your options and see what's best for you and your relationship. I wish you all the luck and hopefully everything turns out okay
I have a sense he still needs growth in maturity and grasp some more self-control. You shouldn't be doing anything that makes you uncomfortable so if him speaking about this "mess around" lifestyle doesn't settle with you then I suggest this: 1-Write down everything you feel needs to be said to him about this, read it to yourself make revisions do what you have to do to understand your straightforward point. 2-Sit down with him in a comfortable setting to talk about it. 3- Listen closely if he respects how strongly you feel about being faithful to one another. That the love you have for each other should be valued more than a little fun-hour with some chick who doesn't give a damn after. 4- If he's still hesitant on solidifying a whole hearted relationship with you because of "urges he wants to get rid of" than...(i know you love this person but he needs to learn) suggest a break (a week or two idk). Not to end all ties but to just get a little distance from him so he can really consider how he truly feels. AND to give you some time to relax, unwind from these worries. LET HIM GO TO YOU, don't wait around. Do you and he'll come around to talk about things again. Hope all is well and that this was some kinda help :)
Only true love can stop a player from being in the field. It's either you pin him down with a settlement you both can agree on or let him go because he still wants to play. Communicating may help but if he wants you, he should take you and be loyal. Love or a relationship isn't something you can just put on the shelf and pick it up again when you're just ready.. Let him come to you if you don't know what to do still.