Hi, I’m 23 and 5 months pregnant. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We don’t have a good relationship anymore. We’re actually more like “stuck” together, although we still care about each other and still say I love you..it’s more like going through the motions to keep the peace yet not get too involved with each other because we don’t really have the interest to kind of thing. Well, that part is more from him- he likes to keep me at a distance, not talk about anything that has to do with our lives or wellbeing or relationship and I guess some guys are like that, yeah, but he never used to be like that. He started playing online video games more and more, drinking more and more, telling me we would finally have a night where we would at least watch a movie together and telling me he wanted to be alone when the time came..stuff like that. We have had a stressful relationship. It’s what people would call co-dependent and has been for about 2 years. We lost our car, apartment, and jobs about 2 years ago, moved in with a family member of his and have been struggling more than usual ever since. During that time we fought all the time and both said and did things we never thought we’d do. I said things I can’t imagine saying to my worst enemy and he’s lost his mind and beat the crap out of me. This whole time, we had nowhere else to go. No break, no family support, no options, nothing. We just had to deal with it. We both have reached points of depression neither one of us really understood before. I’ve been unable to move and even project my voice loud enough for anyone to hear, just could not bring myself to look anyone in the eye or smile. He’s abused alcohol and ended up in the hospital for trying to kill himself. Now, we’re still not employed, staying with his mother (she’s disabled and we’re not supposed to be here) putting all of our money toward her getting a house so that we can stay with her and absolutely miserable, and I don’t know that we would be together if we weren’t trying to make sure the other is able to get back on their feet. The places I’ve gone to get evaluated at won’t treat me or him bc we’re not “a danger to ourselves or others” or hearing voices or anything (they’re free places who only offer help to the most severe cases). I feel horrible about bringing a baby into this world when I can’t even take care of myself. I’m terrified that I won’t be able to provide for my baby or be happy and smiling and set up a happy, healthy atmoshpere for the baby. I cry all the time. If I get myself into the mindset of ‘get over yourself and just shut up’ my mind goes blank and I don’t feel or talk. I can’t handle the stress anymore it’s making me not even know myself anymore and I don’t know how to fix it. I want my baby and I love her already, but this is just a horrible situation to bring a baby into. I know I could look into adoption, but I’m scared of never seeing her and her feeling like I abandoned her or of her getting put into some foster care system. My question: is it selfish to have a baby when you know you’ll love the baby and try your best, but are not positive you can offer her something better than someone else could? Also, if I’m so unsure about about my boyfriend and I, is it more harmful to the baby to have both parents in their life when they don’t have the best relationship or to have one primary parent? Thank you for your advice.