Please offer advice

I am 14 years old, currently living in Canada with my mom and brother. I moved 4 1/2 years ago to BC from London, England. My parents have been divorced since I was about 5, and my dad stills lives in London. He now has a kid and a girlfriend. I feel like as I have become older and more mature, I am seeing things a bit more clearly as far as my parents go. I have really started to think about moving in with my dad. My mom and dad have a bad history, and are currently in the middle of court over money, so I am worried about bringing this up with my mom. My main reasons for moving are :
-Best friend is moving
-I can not stand this small town I live in (small population)
-No opportunities
-I don’t like the people in my grade (lots of drugs)
-I can’t deal with my grandma anymore (she constantly puts me down)
-I wan’t to live with my dad for a bit, I only see him about once a year

Please give me some advice, preferably from an adult perspective. There are lots of things to consider. Maybe you could give me some advice on how to tell my mom.

Category: Family asked July 16, 2014

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confusedteen

3 Answers

2 accepted

tell your dad as well, he's also your parent. And ask him about what he thinks of you moving in to his home. You also need to reconsider that he already has a girlfriend and with a kid, be mentally and emotionally prepare for the things that you have no hold of. and also tell him the reason why you wanted to move in with him so he will understand. and about your mom, tell her politely that you wanted to try living with your dad because of this reasons. listen to what she says and reconsider it as well. maybe she knows something you don't. and promise to visit her often so she will know that the problem isn't about her parenting!! coz you know moms are highly emotional beings.

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icychoco

658

I think much better if you talk to your dad first, rather than your mom, if your dad is ready to accommodate you, then it will be alot easier to proceed, rather than telling your mom first without the green light from dad

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Parash

214

Much like everyone else has said, it is best to speak with your dad about it first... get in contact any way that you can and see if it's okay with him. If your mum wants the best for you (which I'm sure that she does), she'd eventually understand despite what's going on between her and your dad at the moment. Just try to explain to her the reasons you've just stated (although maybe not the grandma one, unless you feel comfortable with telling her about it!) Make sure to reassure her that she is most definitely not the reason you'd like to leave and that you'll visit and talk as much as possible! Listen to whatever she says and take it into account - this is a pretty big decision, after all. Who knows? It could work out the way that you're hoping... or there may be reasons for you living with her and not your dad. I hope it goes okay!

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Alethanera