oh geez boy troubles?

so ive talked to this kid, Nick, for about 3 years now and we’ve kind of had a sexting relationship that got a little out of hand. I’ve only ever had one boyfriend, and during that time, i stopped talking to nick. But i guess during those three years he’s had relationships but didn’t tell me about them until and after, and he would cheat on them with me… every time i try to end this thing we have he always messages me a week later saying that he misses me and every thing and of course i go back to him because he offers kind words. Recently we went on this sort of date thing and i got kind of “tickled pink” because no one has really asked me out on a date per say…and we ended up doing stuff on the date and now i think i kind of have a lot feelings for him. but i know he doesn’t like me back because he talks to other girls the same way he talks to me. but three years is a long time…and theres got to be a reason why he still wants to to talk to me during every relationship he has with a girl he likes, right? But every conversation turns into sex.

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Rachael Baker

5 Answers

i had a friend like this. i ended up stopping talking to them and having to take a break from our relationship to really see how i valued our relationship and how much positivity or growth was coming from it. I didnt talk to them for 5 months, and realized i was not getting anything out of our relationship, they were using me. i never liked them as more then a friend, but even being taken advantage of by a friend sucks. we talk and hang out now, but we are strictly friends and i will not allow them to treat me like a piece of meat. i stand up for myself and hold a strong boundary around them. maybe try this?

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Jane

6,075

Hello Rachael, you did the right thing in reaching out.

It seems your boyfriend is just using you for sex. He's put a lot of time into wooing you and now he's looking to seal the deal before he cuts you loose and goes after other game.

Just cut ties and let him go, nothing good is coming of this yo-yo relationship. He just wants sex and will say anything or be as nice as possible to get you to give it to him.

Always remember that you matter, and you are not alone.

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Humanist Hope

16,417

Yeah, this guy is just trying to get in your pants. Dump this guy and find someone who respects you. Don't put yourself out there like that for some guy who doesn't care about you.

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august

If you're having all these doubts before even dating the guy, then you have to let him go. Plus, if the guy wasn't faithful in those three years, who says he will be now? It's best to just stop talking to him altogether, you will find someone who will ask you out on dates and make you feel special without making you doubt him once.

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Meaghan

I know it can be really hard letting go of people, especially after 3 years. I mean thats alot of time put into the relationship and to just cut him seems like a bit of a waste but this guy does seem to be after only one thing, not only did he lie to you but he led you on and that is not someone you want in your life. If you really did want to keep him around, even as just a friend, which would be the only smart option, you should try to only see, talk and interact with him on a friendship level. if he tries anything sexual, either change the subject or act oblivious and if he then stops talking to you, you will know he was only after one thing and that will make it easier to let him go and move on. I wish you all the best of luck :)

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Taylor