For the past two years, i’ve lived with mainly guys. I always got on better with guys anyway so I found it easy to get on with them, there were a lot of us, hardly any girls at that. The year after that it moved down to a few of us, me and a few guys, all great.
He is amazing, we always got on so well, we joked around and had our flirty moments for the past couple of years so I grew attached to him. After being sexually assaulted too, for me trusting or even becoming close with a male was rare, I avoided most of my friends and felt so uncomfortable around them 24/7, but this one guy… he broke down my wall of defence with a single smile.
We use to talk about relationships too, how he was in one and was always asking ‘so have you found your man yet?’ I always replied no, of course I hadn’t, I’m nothing special compared to all the girls in the clubs we head out too most nights, even drunk we flirt but nothing ever happens.. When we argue my stomach feels like it’s in my throat and I can’t stand it.
I guess this is where I confess, I can’t stop thinking about one of my flat mates, I seriously struggle to manage myself around him, I get shy easily. Now though, both of us are single and I am not willing to make a move, i’m scared of what this friendship may cost us. Plus he has no idea of my feelings towards him at all. I just need to get over this whole idea of liking/ admiring him. However I feel like i’m acting like some silly teenager asking out a prom date…. We are adults here, nearly hitting 30 and what happens? This.
It really is the real life version of New Girl.