Need different opinions…


My friend(boy) has a crush on my other friend(girl). When he asked her out she said no and that very same day asked out his best friend just because my friend Alex had a crush on him. She has ruined my chances to get a boyfriend 3 times, because she’s desperate and needs attention. She then made my friend put on a ring saying that she would harm (cut) herself if he didn’t keep it on.
Should I stay friends with her, what should I tell her so that I can stay friend’s with her?
P.S. I like him and he’s like a brother to me… What should I do…?

Category: Tags: asked June 3, 2014

9 Answers

Hey there!I feel like it's best to avoid people who you believe may "poison" your life, or drag you down. If you do not want to stay friends with her, then you may do so, and tell her why. She may take it the wrong way or even be in denial or not understand or be aware of what she has been doing. So all you need to do is let her know that she hurt you and why.
I like to be friends with those who support me. Best of luck to you!
Definitely have to agree with Kat, life is about the relationships you make and keep. If someone is toxic, like your friend is, you are only wasting your time and friendship. find someone who will not make you question if you guys should be friends or not.
She threatened to self-harm? Well, she's some dependent affective attention woman alright... Desperation can be quite fascinating, but it's also harmful in many cases. But the fact you're asking if you should still be friends with her shows that you've already decided that you wouldn't. You ask these questions because you have doubts, but these doubts are mere illusions, because it is only pity for that attention-seeking woman or irrational thinking for that guy friend of yours. If you like your friend (the initial guy) that much, either support him in whatever love-related decision he takes (should he want to keep trying to get with this woman), or make him realize it's illogical or a simple lost cause, since that woman is simply manipulative and obnoxious. In any case, do what you feel is the best for you.
Hi, this situation sounds really complicated but I'll try to see if I got it right. 1) She is meddling with your (romantic) relationships in a harmful manner. 2) Her actions are hurting you and this male friend of yours. 3) She does self-harm. 4) You still want to stay friends with her. Okay then, there might be a reasonable solution.

I don't know how good your relationship with this girl is and how sensitive she is about critique. You might want to bring the issue up somewhere in private in a place where she feels cozy in and then try talk about it in a friendly manner so she doesn't automatically snap into defense mode and stop hearing everything you're saying.

Let her know that you still care about her and think of her as a friend, but the way she has been behaving lately has gotten you worried and is really hurting you and your friend. See how she reacts but don't lose your cool because of it, don't be the one to start a fight over it. End explain what exactly is harming you in her behavior and try to find out together if there is anyway that you two could change that.

I wouldn't recommend talking to the guy about it as a first option, because if he cares about this other friend of yours it might be difficult for him to accept those things about her. So there is a possibility his opinion of you will worsen if he thinks that you're merely trying to cast a slur on her. But you know him better than I do so use your own judgement on this one.

The first choice would definitely be approaching her about this but not in a hostile way if possible. But just be aware that if she is not willing to acknowledge the fact that she is harming you or doesn't want to change that, there will be a point where it will be better to let your friendship come into an end. Give it a try first, but if you realize that it's causing you more harm than good - know when to move on.
I would let your female friend go. I'm never one to say that you should put potential romantic relationships before keeping friendships, but I also really believe that a healthy friendship is one that makes your life better and makes you a better person, not one that harms you and makes you feel like this. Letting go of a harmful friend can be really hard, but ultimately I think it would be better for everyone!
She also flirts with him and leads him on that they could possibly be together, even though she doesn't like him that way.
Well, today I plan on talking to her and if she doesn't listen I'm gonna tell her we haft to stop being friends because of the way she treats me and my friends.
She'll think you're going on her case and go full drama queen on you, not something you want, I'm sure. You don't want to put your guy friend against you either, so either prove to him that the chick's a manipulative person, or let him hurt himself with her and collect the broken pieces and put them back together when he's done being lost in his love illusions. People don't change, that female friend of yours won't change even if you tell her to or show her how toxic she is. The only way people change is when they realize stuff themselves. You criticize her and she'll go on a victimization speech. She'll be on a defensive mode and won't listen anyways.
But I still feel like being friends with her, considering we've been friends since 3rd grade. I just want her to stop the crap she's pulling. It's just that sometimes I get tired of it. So do you think I should tell her to clean up her crap and be a better person?