My manager wants to date me but I only want to sleep with him

So I kind of have a weird situation… I have been working my first job for about 5 months now in fast food and recently started this kind of secret relationship with one of my managers. For a while I’ve had a small crush on him, although we never really talked to each other much and physically he’s not really my type… though I think his body is sexy. I’m also extremely shy and nervous about getting involved on an emotional level with a guy, so I’ve pretty much been only wanting to sleep with him for a while without emotion connection (though right now I’m a virgin). I’ve never told him this and don’t plan to.

About a week ago he asked another coworker to get my number for him since apparently he’s been trying to talk to me more but opportunities to do so was slim. So I gave her my number and she passed it onto him and we began texting to each other and I agreed to meet with him for coffee. Since then, we’ve met up in secret three times (and counting) and text each other every day.

The first two times we saw each other it was pretty friendly and at first I thought that was all he wanted… to be better friends with me. But then, the third time we met up, he confessed his feelings for me, saying he really liked my personality and attractiveness, and wanted to date me.

He’s a really nice guy and respects me as a person (I told him I was nervous about being in a relationship with someone and he understood and said he wouldn’t ever touch me without my permission). He’s seven years older than me and also single. His texts have gotten really sweet and it’s obvious now that he likes me quite a bit… but I don’t know if we really connect well. I’m having a hard time opening up with him and whenever we see each other we’ll have some awkward silences.

In a couple months he’s going to step down from his manager position
(not solely because of me; it stresses him out a lot). I don’t know if I should continue to see him and give the relationship a shot… and if not, I don’t know how to turn him down politely. It would get weird at work (already kind of is), but we both seem to want different things.

Category: Dating & Relationships asked March 28, 2014

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Chris

5 Answers

Don't do it. You want different things, he wants more than you are willing to give. Going into that relationship would be very ill-advised.

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Humanist Hope

16,417

He is 7 years older than you and your manager. And this is your first job. If somebody loses job over this, it will probably be you.

He is also again, 7 years older n experienced with the opposite sex. You are a virgin. Which is normal for your age. It is easy for him to play you.

You are going against ethics and want to maybe give him a chance cause you think he is hot, cause you don't know how awful, awkward and complicated it will be afterwards. So, you don't know any better, owing to lack of experience. Thats ok.

But he is older. Common sense indicates he should know better by now. So, either he is very stupid or just trying to get to sleep with u on a regular basis.

I am betting on the later. He is going to just want to "date" you so that he can sleep with you. He doesn't care about you. He cares about how he feels when he sleeps with a much younger girl who thinks he is "all that".(I am betting girls his age don't think he is "all that")

Of course he will tell all the right words and be utterly sweet. He will treat you right and tell you he loves you a little too soon into the relationship. This will probably be cause he is insecure. And wants you to feel too guilty to break up with him. In fact you are already feeling not sure about wanting to say "no" to him cause.. .come on things are already awkward. How much more awkward can it get ? Right ?

Trust me, you have no idea. :)

Hope you do the right thing for yourself :) take care :)

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quack-quack

It's a better idea not too get involved with him. If he's 7 years older, thats 1-illegal and 2-a bad relationship. You should date someone your age. He could just be messing with you.

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Alice956

I agree with quack-quack If you don't like him, don't date him. He shouldn't be dating you if he is a manager anyway. It's your choice, but I wouldn't recommend dating him.

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laina54321

To be honest, people say they want to be "friends with benefits" but i don't believe in that. Someone always ends up falling for another one. If you're just wanting to use someone for sex that's pretty low. You should be honest with him and say you're not looking for a relationship right now and you want to focus on other things in you life right now.

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Natalia