I live in a really nice house with one other woman. I am only 20, in college, finding myself and wanting to explore life, and she is 25 married, with a career and no social life. her husband is deployed, so hes never here, which is great cause he is terrifying. The house is great, only 20 minutes from campus and only $400 rent. I like my roommate well enough, but she is a bit of a lonely cat lady, and its a bit depressing. Ill come home from a long day and find myself making a beeline for my room and staying there all evening cause she just talks incessantly about the same things all the time. she says Im welcome to have people over, but than shes weird about it and the house is a bit out of the way for my friends anyway. and her husband and family scares the hell out of me, so Im miserable when her family comes over (they have no boundaries), or when her husband is home on leave. I sort of want to move, so that I can be closer to friends and in a more college student prone area of the city (the neighborhood I live in is a bunch of antisocial rich people, and about 15 minutes from stores and stuff) but I dont know if I can justify moving. Im not going to be able to find such a nice place for the same price, and I dont know if I will like any other roommate any better. I should love this place, but im a bit unhappy here. I have classy adult tastes and standards that I wont find living with other college students my age. should I move? or am I just looking for problems where there are none?
Hey. I'm in college and same age. Hopefully, I can give you some useful input. First off, why does her family scare you so much? Is it something in particular they did? If they're somehow physically or emotionally harmful (threatening you, insulting you etc.), I'd try to move out as soon as possible. Is there a contract you signed that is obligating you to pay rent for a certain amount of months? If so, then if you did move you'd probably still have to pay rent in addition to the rent of your new residence. But, that's better than staying I think. If not, just take your stuff and leave. You don't have to give a reason for moving out. If they ask, just say you're not comfortable living there or anything really. Let me know if I'm not grasping the situation right and I'll try to give you a better informed answer.
Im on a month to month lease, so I could leave whenever (forgot to mention that)
and her family is just messed up. her step dad gets explosively angry and abuses his wife, the mom is a manic depressed wreck and they have a younger brother who will just stare at me and giggle. they are just strange, and way too friendly with me when their over (always knocking on my door and coming into my room)
just all around uncomfortable
Yeah. I'd strongly suggest moving out as soon as possible because there's the concern of personal safety plus that's just a terrible environment to be in emotionally. If there's any chance her family is coming over again before you can move out, I'd advice taking everything you need on a daily basis and staying with a friend temporarily until they're gone and then moving the rest of your stuff safely. As for giving a reason to move out, like I said before, just say you're uncomfortable or if you feel weird saying that just say you want to be closer to campus or something.I know you brought up some other concerns in your post like you weren't sure if you'd get along with other roommates, if they'd have the same tastes as you etc. if you moved. But knowing how messed up the family is, I think as the saying goes go with the lesser of two evils. You can message me anytime if you have any questions/want to talk. I'll be a senior next year so I have a bit of experience with dealing with roommate problems/concerns.
Start with a small step, check out other places and opportunities, privately, if you find something better or comparable all things considered, then you can really get around to decide to leave. But keep in mind that you need to learn to assert yourself and say "Ok, I'm going to my room now", or to set up "chat times" where you talk to her for a set time and then go do your thing, since the problem might present itself again, with chatty or boundaries challenged roommates.