Making important decisions

I am very confused and in total loss at what to make of my current situation. So I really need your advice.
Well, I have been in a distant relationship for 4 years. A year ago we decided that he should come to my country so we can get married but things kept happening and now a year has passed since then and he hasn’t come. I love him and he loves me, he’s always there for me and I know and talk to his whole family, so it’s very serious.
The problem is my family is getting impatient and think that he’s leading me on while doing his own stuff wherever he is. I tried to make them understand, even he spoke to them on the phone to convince them that he will come and he just needs a bit of time. But they are afraid that luck would never set and ill spend my time living an illusion while so many others want to get in a relationship with me.
I can’t deny that I am afraid as well but he believes in us so much and I do as well.
There’s this new guy who has asked for my hand and I put him down because I love my current fiancé. I am confused and really don’t know what to think.
Any outside advice or third-person prospective would be most welcome.

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Dusted wings

184

3 Answers

Have you ever met him in person? If you haven't I'm not sure if it would be the best idea to jump into marriage. Or maybe he's just nervous about all of this. Four years is a long time so if you guys do love each other you will both do anything to make this work and if this is really meant to be then it will be. It's difficult with long distance relationships because you never know what they're really doing, or if they have another life you don't even know about.(hopefully that is not the case.) Hopefully he is being honest and trustworthy and will see you soon. But I don't think that you can wait forever, at some point you might have to realize that this isn't working and you need to move on with your life and find a new love. This is difficult now but don't worry too much, everything will end up fine. If it's meant to be, it will be. xx

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thankyoux3

Honestly, sometimes a relationship, while may seem lovely in its abstract, is still just that: abstract. He sounds like he is having issues with committing to a plan, but this is all conjecture based on what was stated in this post.Sometimes the person you're with makes a better friend than a partner. If you're feeling these doubts, they're coming from somewhere, and they need to be met. A lot of talking is what needs to happen between the two of you; but don't be afraid to see a break up happen.One of my greatest persons of support is someone who I've previously been in a relationship with, and I couldn't be happier to have them as my friend. Relationships are fluid, and what may have worked in the past will not always work in the future.

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Elle

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its time to either shit or get off the pot........i believe you are waisting your time with this guy........cuz if he wanted to acutally be with you, he would.

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Robin

1,659