I can only imagine the pain you are going through, but I am here to tell you that you will be FINE. I promise you that much. You need to understand that things happen to those that can handle it, you can get through this. It's strange but it's something that time will allow you to understand. You may have lost someone physically, but what about the things that you learned along the path? You can use that same strength and wisdom to carry on. Say you were the one that passed away, most certainly you would not your partner to be in such a negative state, instead you would want them to cheer up somehow. No i'm not saying to go out and date or anything, that's crazy right now. Right now you have to sit down and have an honest discussion with yourself. You need to know that your partner would not want to see you this way, find joy in a hobby and stray away from the thought for a little bit and gradually build your way up, because if you linger too much on the thought you'll find yourself crying again. Be honest with yourself and love yourself, go out for a walk don't stay in one place, just keep breathing and moving. The biggest advice I can give you is spend a large amount of time in a nature area, preferably where there are a lot of trees and just sit amongst the trees as you figure things out in your mind. Please just go to a forest, the biggest advice I can give you that I can guarantee that will make things easier for you.
