While i don't know the details of the relationship, i will say that if you were only together for a year (+4months) and she wanted to get married a long time ago, she was definitely rushing things. Its one thing to feel in love, but another to not be patient with yourself, let alone someone's elses feelings about not being ready, which i feel was the right thing for you to feel. Marriage isn't something to rush in to, and if she really had an issue with you not wanting to be married so soon, then she wasn't the girl for you, because rushing you into such a commitment would be her first strike in a relationship she may have come to feel was hers to dominate, rather than share. So now you have to move on, and how do you do that you ask. I've been in your situation. The last girl i dated, i loved her...i still love her, and i miss the chemistry she and i shared despite the fights, and i don't feel i'll meet many more after her that i share such a chemistry with, but that doesn't mean i need to regret things not working out. My advice, good sir, is this: this individual you feel is one of a kind; do not dread that for the time being you will go in separate directions, but rather be appreciative that you got to share a good portion of your life with her. If she is as special as you feel she is, there are many in this world who will never get to experience what makes her special, and they will dream of a person like her, but never know her. You know her, and even have to privilege of saying she was once your lover. You can't buy that. Now you look forward to the next interaction in life you will have the privilege of experiencing. I miss my ex, but what i miss more is getting to know an amazing person for the first time; we both, despite feeling trapped in retrospect, are in a great position to recreate the joy we felt with a past love. Just don't keep your heart so far in your memory that you forget to share it in the present.