long distance relationship + feelings for someone else…

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I’m in a long distance relationship and we don’t get to see each other very often, and we can’t talk all the time because we both have busy schedules. I’m starting to get feelings for someone else who seems to be into me too and lives closer and I’m not sure what to do. I’m not going to leave my boyfriend for him, but I don’t know what to do about the feelings. I feel guilty for liking someone else, but when I haven’t seen him or spoken to him for a while, it gets a little hard to remember how much I care about him. Please don’t criticize me for this.

Category: Tags: asked June 12, 2015

7 Answers

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There is no reason to criticize you. How you feel is normal. Though it is not considered to be okay to be in a relationship with two people, (unless you are polyamorous), it is normal to have feelings for more than one person. In your case, especially since your boyfriend lives far away, developing feelings for some one else, is very understandable. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain, but can be very worth it if it lasts. Be open about how you feel with your boyfriend, how you both feel is critical. Things will work them selves out as time progresses.
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@anon556 I'm not some animal that needs to be "satisfied." I'm not a cheater and I'm not in this relationship just for the physical part. We've never had sex, and our relationship is perfectly wonderful. Had you read my question thoroughly, you would have realized that my question was what to do about those feelings while staying with my boyfriend and not how to "keep myself satisfied."
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@beyondsuicidal It seems you've misunderstood me. I did not mean to imply anything sexual in my answer and I'm sorry if you took it that way. I was referring to emotions. Humans are social creatures, with social and emotional needs. It's the same for everyone. That's what I was talking about my answer. From your question, it sounded your emotional needs are not being met in your relationship with your boyfriend. I was suggesting that you spend time with the other person in order to meet those emotional needs. I think that would be the best way of dealing with your feelings for this person. I hope I've made myself clear.
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@anon556 My emotional needs are being met, probably more than this guy ever could. But I can't control having feelings for him.
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My god! My question isn't which guy I should be with. I said straight out that I'm not leaving my boyfriend for the other guy; I asked what to do with my feelings for him. So @everychallengechanges and everyone else who's telling me to leave him, if you're not going to answer my actual question, then don't answer at all.
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Have you considered having it both ways? You have needs that should be fulfilled. Perhaps it isn't the best idea to be honest with your boyfriend. In the periods when you don't see your boyfriend, see the other person you have feelings for. Hopefully, that will satisfy you when you aren't with your boyfriend.
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What I have always heard is it's possible to love two different people at once, but always choose the person you fell in love with second, because if you had TRULY been in love with the first, you never would have set eyes on the second.


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