so basically I used to self harm and the thought is still floating in the front of my mind. i see many and most everyday items as something i could use to inflict some sort of pain on myself and i hate this. I want to feel the pain again and just yesterday i found my box of ‘stuff’ basically it holds everything i used to use to hurt myself with, razors, safety pins, needles, one of my many lighters and a few items to patch up afterwards, plasters (band aids), bandages, sterile wipes some gauze and some saline wash. My mum is in hospital a lot so access to the medical supplies to stop infection and keep the wounds clean was pretty easy. I had a dream that i cut in and when i had a shower in the morning where i cut in my dream stung. how do i stop feeling like i want to die? i used to occupy my hands by making small nooses ans drawing, writing etc but it isnt working anymore. i need help.
First off WELLDONE that is amazing and you are so strong.
I suffered from self harming too so I know what you are going through its been a few months for me the thing that helped me most was I got a tattoo where I self harmed most, something to remind me of the things I have been through and all the things I have survived, depending on your age and feelings towards tattoo's that could be an option to help also in the early stages of detoxing I had a rubber and around my wrist so that every time I wanted to harm I could flick it and cause pain that way, it doesn't last very long but it gives you just that little reminder that you are still in control. I also had a counsellor, if you don't have one maybe you could try that but it does take some time to get the right one. Maybe you have a friend that does too talking to them when you get the urges helps a lot. I'm Here for you and I think you are extremely strong. Well done.
First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS on being 25 weeks clean. That's absolutely AMAZING. I am SO proud of your accomplishment! Keep up the good work! You're doing great so far. 25 weeks will turn into 50 weeks then into 75 weeks then into 100 weeks, after 100 weeks, I'm sure you'll lose count and be clean for good! Okay so, what is it exactly that's making you feel this way? How is the family life? Is there any problems that can be the cause of this? There's a reason for everything. There's something that's triggering you to feel this way. Try surrounding yourself with positivity. Nothing makes the heart grow bigger than love and acceptance.
First thing's first, CONGRATS! That is an amazing effort, it takes a lot of strength and you have every right to be proud of yourself for that!
I think an important step is to get rid of this box of things, removing temptations can be hard, and may not seem helpful, but it does help a little bit. Also distracting yourself with other things may help, like going for a run or learning an instrument or volunteering somewhere, just to get your mind off things.
As for the urges, there are a lot of things you can try like holding ice in your hand until it hurts or the old rubber band trick. Also, I found that starting a diary is very beneficial... for many reasons. (I recommended starting one if you haven't already).
It may also be time to seriously consider seeing a pro (psychologist), they can really help you with these feelings of wanting to die.
There are a lot of things that can help, I am willing to share and just listen if you need it.
You're never alone.
Try surrounding yourself around people that you can tolerate. I know it doesn't sound like the best idea but sometimes people know what you're going through. Just try to go out more to places that won't lead you to thinking of self harm.... And if you can make it to 25 weeks then you can make it longer(: I'm always here for ya!
congrats, I also self harm I know the feeling. Overcoming it is a great feeling, maybe a first good step would be to throw away the "stuff" less temptation. Then you could keep yourself busy with things you enjoy, that's usually what I do, soon enough it floats out of my mind. :) Keep going with the good work, stay clean!
You did a wonderful job by being clean for so long, I'm really proud of you! I think you should start with throwing your razors away. If you can't yet, you must place them somewhere more far away. (Like on your closet or something.) If you keep them very close, the urge to cut also gets stronger, I think. Second, you should tell someone. I told some friends about my self harming recently. I really, really didn't want to, but at the end they told me they were going to help me and they are now trying to stop me from harming myself. You could tell a friend (who can keep a secret, not the biggest drama queen you know ofcourse), one of your parents, someone from school, a teacher you trust or someone like that. You can also go to a psychologist. Remember, friends can be a great support, but adults can probably help you even better. Stay strong, honey, you can do this, I believe in you!