Is this really the end of my relationship?


Hi everyone,
As a foreigner living in China I met a girl from the US about 3 months ago that lives in HK. Because I live quite close to the border it is not too difficult to travel and meet up, which we did.

So… as soon as we first met, we hit it off and started talking on a daily basis. Everything went very smooth and my emotions for her started growing. We had many plans for everytime we saw each other and had great fun.

The first and second of May was a holiday for me so I came over to HK to visit her, she introduced me to her friends and they had all heard about me. So I was happy to hear that. That same night it was the first time we were also holding hands while walking through the city and I felt very loved. Those 2 days were great as usual and the small things that she reminded me of (e.g. I had to make her panncakes for breakfast) made me realize that this isn’t just a fling.

The second day after our time together (yesterday) she wrote me saying that it is not working out for her and that she tried making it work and feel right but it just didn’t. After that she wrote me the usual other stuff like… I was a great catch etc etc but she just didn’t feel “us” and she had figured that I had sensed that as well.

Now, my world is upside down and I do not know what to do. I am absolutely in love with this girl and something inside of me tells me that she most have felt something too when we were together because it is simply impossible to act all that.

I have no idea what to do, so I was hoping to find some advice here. I already told her that I have feelings for her. and we are still going to meet up in 3 weeks from now to get each others stuff back.

I am confused and would like to know what you people woulld do in my situation.
Thanks for reading.

Category: Tags: asked May 4, 2014

4 Answers

Hi Roy, and thank you for posting your question. My heart goes out to you in this situation because these circumstances usually end up in a 50/50 split. The best advice available to you is to ask her if she would like to continue on a friendship basis. Those types of relationships don't usually last and leaves the other person with difficulties to move on. If she is receptive to the idea, then I would suggest letting her you know need some time before your next communication exchange. If she is unable to wait until you reach out to her, then she may still have feelings for you. If she does reach out to you first, only respond when you feel you have moved on. Going back into this friendship at that point will provide you with a clear head.If she does not want to continue a friendship, then let the situation go and return your items to each other. If seeing her will cause discomfort, have a friend or family member meet with her to get your items back.
Thank you Windsor Caster, that sounds like some solid advice. Knowing myself ... I really want to reach out to her, I don't want to sit back and see if the wind starts blowing in the right direction, do you know what I mean?About a week ago, she desperately wanted to meet me in China, although I had some important meeting going, I told her that it was a bad timing. This was just a few days before we had 2 entire days for ourselves.Happenings like this, screw up my mind. I personally feel that she does have feelings for me and is (perhaps) too scared because of the different lives we have / culture / living area. Somehow I want to ask her that directly... again the battle between heart and brain kick in. Heart says; ask her! Brain says; don'tDo you have any more useful advice for me? It is very much appreciated!
Roy - I understand how you are feeling about this whole ordeal. She may or may not being feeling discomfort and confusion on how to proceed due to various reasons that could be related to culture, environment, location, etc. Unfortunately, you may never know why. I would suggest to ask her to provide clarification on her reason for discontinuing this relationship. You may or may not get an honest answer, but it will provide with your next step towards moving on. Feel free to email me at [email protected] or via AIM on WindsorCastor. I'm working on setting up Yahoo for my clients.
I made an edit to my e-mail address. I corrected a type. It showing the correct address now.