Is this guy being honest or not?

I have had a guy friend who also happen to be my ex-boyfriend whom we dated for about three years then he broke up with me for no reason that I know of. After we broke up he came back to me and we continue messing around as I didnt know that he had a relationship and I still loved him. I told him though when he starts a relationship he should tell me on the first go as I dont want to be sleeping around with someone’s boyfriend (I know that’s not right and I wont risk my health for it).

He never told me that he was in a serious relationship up to last year when I saw a picture of a kid on his Facebook page and people were congratulating him for a healthy baby girl. I went to him and asked as a friend why did he kept on messing up with me while he knew that he was in a serious relationship and his girlfriend was expecting. His excuse was we have “strong connection” that’s why he can’t leave me alone. Days passed and whenever I asked him about his girlfriend he will just tell me it is complicated and I shouldnt be concerned as he is just taking care of his kid and he is not in a relationship [FAT LIE].

We stopped messing around for about three or four months and then he kept on begging me to have sex with him. The only reason I went back to him and continue having sex with him is because I love him with all my heart. About three/four weeks ago I heard through a mutual friend that he is getting married, I was pissed off as I thought this dude is messing up with my head again. For good, I stopped messing around with him without indicating to him as to why I have done so.

I continued meeting and talking to him after I issued a stop without explanation because he has been asking me to help proofread his college stuff that he is doing the writeup at the moment. I feel like he wants me to keep on being his friend so as I could help him out with that. I have asked him out all these stuff (pretty much using me from all angles) but he keeps on denying.

Even though we are not dating and not having sex anymore, should I trust him as a friend or just dump him for good. I hate the guy but I feel sad not helping him out with his college stuff.

Category: Dating & Relationships asked June 25, 2014

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boutsomethin

7 Answers

Dump him for good, as soon as you learned that he was in a relationship you should have stopped, and if that wasn't a good enough sign, him having a kid was, and now he's getting married? I'm assuming his girlfriend doesn't know, and that's terrible. He's kind of been using you, but you've also gone with it and you shouldn't have, better to quit it late than never, the relationship you two have will never work in the long run.

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The Giggle Blizzard

1,554

Put yourself in his wife's situation. What would you want yourself to do now? There really shouldn't be no question in my opinion. You should leave him. This is wrong on so many levels It'll take me an hour to write my true opinions. But these are just my opnions and I'm sure whatever you do will work out. :)

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Progressing Positivity

375

Honestly, he sounds like a tool. No one deserves to be second wing. Even if its a mutual Friends with benefits. Come on girl! Have some dignity! He's out of your hair, HAS A BABY WITH ANOTHER PERSON, and STILL doesn't give a shit enough to stop fucking with all of your heads. He needs to grow up and he won't be able to do that with you still giving into him. If you love him then you need to learn to let him grow up. It honestly sounds like you need to just let go of him completely and be with someone who respects you. LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO LET GO OF SOMETHING BAD.

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Luke

I have stopped sleeping around with him after I knew that he is getting married but he keeps on asking me to still be his friend (not with benefits). I feel like I have been used badly and I dont want him to be even my normal friend.

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boutsomethin

That assclown has been using you for a squeeze-on-the-side from day one. You did the right overcoming your emotions and cutting him off, now cut him off entirely, because if he was lying to his missus-to-be and to you for this long, then he has no concern for you apart from what he can get out of you, and he has very little respect for her.

I am a staunch supporter of polygamy and multi-party consensual sexual relationships, but this is not the case with you, he didn't bring you both in as a closed triad or even a consensual mistress, he's just been fucking around with you on the side AND using you for homework help. What a sleaze.

You have every right to be angry at this stupid young man. He ignored your emotions and emotionally manipulated you to keep you in the dark for as long as possible, there is no redeeming factor in that explanation whatsoever. Burn that bridge and pursue a happier life with someone who is more interested in you.

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Humanist Hope

16,417

Good. I would just wean him out of your life. You don't owe him anything. He made his own mistakes, and can clean his own mess.

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Luke

guess the guys said more than enough,all I've is tiny thing for u this guy either (liar,or mentally sick).....if Liar I bet u won't & won't accept a moment with him,Why?,cuz,pardon me saying that,but I've feeling if someone stalked that (liar) u either will find [THIRD!] female,getting also manipulated with,(using same words with & with his wife) [copy n paste] machine that worst kind of cheating..I don't judge but guess if u imagined it like wat I'm saying:[wife+you+secret one+few strippers & cheap girls] & to prove it for u..according to ur words u've said he came begging u to have sex with him,since when love for someone was meant only sexually,last thing comes in love is sex & sometimes sex is separated from it,..this (LIAR!) again needs only girls to full fill his own desires kick that Liar away from u....-second if he is mentally sick,with all do respect for his sickness (if & only if he were really mentally sick,not fake liar) then u also should leave him,u know u deserve better & his wife deserve better & it's not only his wife only it's his family with his baby girl,...& from here I tell u that he might use sickness acting & lying to get u back,that's why I typed this up for u,...& he isn't & won't be the end of the world,u r nice person & as u found him u can find ten but make sure next time u choose good clean ppl,....hope u the best,....in the end the decision up to u if u like being used over & over & indirectly responsible of hurting his wife & his baby girl...or make a new beginning with honest & great ppl that won't lie to u ^^"take good care of urself & may happiness be ur ally... ^^"

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Red Foot