Is my life worth living anymore?

When I was 13, I lost my best friend. It really affected me. Bad. I become so depressed. I lost my self confidence, I can’t socialise normally anymore, and still have a hard time doing it. Some time later, I befriended a girl on Facebook. She lives like, thousand miles away from me so, we never met face to face. Nor Skype or whatever. Still we’re best friend for 4 years now.

Then, few days ago, she started to act weird and cold to me. Her replies to my messages are short and sometimes with only a “K”. She didn’t start the conversation like she used to. She didn’t tell me about how her day in school went. I asked her if something’s wrong or did I pissed her off many times. Her replies are just, “No.” “Nothing.” “It’s okay.” “Ok.” And from my point of view, I think I’m losing her. And I always cry to my sleep every night cuz I just couldn’t afford to lose another friend. She’s my one and only friend. Like, literally. I really don’t have any friends at school, nor in my neighbourhood, my extra classes etc. I already lost 90% of myself when I lose my first best friend. I don’t know what will happen if I lose my current best friend.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, it did. My parents can’t stand a week without arguing. It’s okay if they argue in their room or when I’m not home, but they always seems to argue in the car. Even if it’s a small trip to the mall. When they did that, I just can’t do anything. I’m that type of person that doesn’t show my feelings much. Especially if it’s anger or sadness.

Now, my life is surrounded by problems and I have no one to talk about it. Yes I do have a sister. But I never share my problems with her. She’s not a good listener.

So, I have no friends, I’m losing my best friend, my parents are always fighting. Tell me why I shouldn’t just kill myself? I’m sick of everything. I’m going crazy. I can’t sleep. I always have this visions of me doing scary things like slitting my wrist, killing a small animal or a person.

I’m sorry I made you read this stupid thing. Sorry if I wasted your time.

asked December 20, 2013

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Iwana

5 Answers

1 accepted

Hey,
Life is filled with ups and downs.

Life is never fair.

That is one thing you can never change. Like you mentioned above, she is your best friend for more than 4 years already and I am assuming this is the first time she is acting like this? She might be experiencing some issues herself and she just doesn't feel like talking about it. I assure you that its definitely not your fault. Personally, I am also a person that doesn't really have a lot of friends. My so called "Best Friend" is living in another country with a 6 hour timezone difference. You might argue that maybe its because I'm a guy and its hard to relate to the things that your experiencing right now, but I assure you, I feel you. However, NEVER resort to taking your own life away. Life is precious.

You might see life as meaningless, plain, and dull but actually, there are a million and one things that you could do to brighten up your day. Personally, I engage in sports. Sports is actually a good way to relieve stress and negativity. In addition, you might just find another person with common similarities.

Don't ever be sorry for things that you never do wrong. I read this question based on my free-will and you have did nothing to offend me or harm me. If you feel like you need someone to talk to, you can always vent your frustrations here. There's an chat box somewhere in this site. Or, if you think that you would rather message me instead, you can always private message me. I will give you my Facebook or something.
Cheers, Zam

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flyinpotato

To be honest, life sucks sometimes. It's important that you connect with real live people though. When you find people online it's hard to be thier best friend. For one, they only tell you what they want you to know not what's really going on with them. You can't tell wether she's sad by only her facial expression or her body language. She can't hug you when you feel like you really need a hug. You may feel like she's abandoning you but she could honestly be going through something too and not able to talk to you. Also think about the way you lost your first best friend. You might have some feelings about them that you can't get over which is why you feel the need to cling to this "new best friend". Your parents love each other -or did at some point. Remember that when they argue there's feelings involved that may be hard to control when they're in each others prescene. Even if you are around it might be hard to keep their emotions in check. Try to be understanding and in the mean time meet some new people that you can actually touch. Your emotions are running high right now and you need someone to actually BE there for you. Try also talking to your parents seperatly about the way thier arguing makes you feel.

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Rain

There are plenty of reasons why you shouldn't kill yourself.For example, imagine how your sister would feel, seeing your closed door, trying to convince herself that you're only sleepingImagine how your parents would feel, they would feel guilty and think it's their fault, and lead the rest of their lives in guilt and sorrow, giving them depressionImagine how the funeral would be, and how your family would feelMaybe your friend is dealing with depression herself, and sees it as unimportant, or is afraid of judgement so she won't tell youAnd if you do kill yourself, what benefits could there possibly be? Your family would be destroyed, every Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, etc would be without you. All your parents could think about was you when you were there, happily opening the presents they bought you, and your sister would probably be affected by the new atmosphere, because everyone would be reminded of when you were there.
Don't kill yourself, for the love of your family, and everyone who knows you.

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ErkaustNoAme

hey listen to me i have those visions toomy life is an emotional rollercoasterjust like your i hate my life but i would never kill myself cause it will get better heres my twitter you can contact me on there@1Dforlife11131contact me i will be your friend forever i promise just contact me on there i can help i won't leave you if you don't want me to just contact me

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summer rose

Yes, you're worth more than you know. Rough times such as these make us all feel like giving up. I do think you're friend is lying to you. I don't know why but if I were you I'd just say look, I know you said nothing is wrong but your behavior has significantly changed and if it's not me, I'd really like to know, as your friend, what is going on so I can either help you and be inside your world or if it is me, so I can know because it's really negatively affecting me. She needs to know how badly this is affecting you if she doesn't know already because it's not fair to you to treat you like this (giving you the cold shoulder). If she has shared things with you in the past there's no reason she shouldn't now. And if she has an issue with you she needs to open up about it. And when your parents argue in your presence maybe you can just say something (gently) to get them to be more aware of the strife it's causing inside you. Like you said, you don't have a problem if it's not in your presence so you can tell them that too. Plus, it's dangerous to argue while you're in the car. Maybe you can even say that.

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Vivid Melody

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