Hi guys… so this might be a bit long but I really need some help and advice. It’s my first time here btw.
I’m a 17 year old female and I’ve been going through some serious depression. I tried to commit suicide a few years back and I tried 2 times this week. But the question isn’t about that. It’s about my situation and idk if it’s worth it.
I’ve been with this guy for a year and almost 3 months but my parents do not like him at all. They found out we were seeing each other last year and since last year we’ve gotten caught seeing each other and it got to the point where my parents almost got a restraining order. Then last summer, they found out I lost my v-card to him. They harassed him saying leave her alone or we’ll tell the police etc. They FORCED me to write notes saying that I don’t want to see him and if I ever do I’ll go to the police. They put thoughts in my mind. They fucking forced me to write a note saying he fucking raped me. It’s not true. They sent him texts from MY phone pretending to be me and saying that I want him to stop talking to me. But he knew it wasn’t me. We “fake” broke up. But we kept talking and we’ve been seeing each other for a year and almost 3 months now. But things got hard you know. I mean we’re only in high school. And yeah, most people will say you’re in hs why go through all that trouble you’re young you’ll find someone new. But the thing is we don’t WANT to. I want to be with him and he wants to be with me. But things did get hard. He “broke” up with me. Meaning, he said he broke up with me but we’re still together basically. We still see each other. But we’re not “together”, if that makes any sense. But now school’s about to end. And I kept telling myself and him that I will tell my parents that we’re still together at the end of the year and I’ll stand up to them and if they wanna take everything to court then I’ll fight them. But idk if it’s worth it now.. I mean, idk. I live with my mom currently. My parents are only separated cuz of work. And I’m a junior in hs about to be a senior and my dad said that he wants me to go live with him for senior year. But he said that I can stay here with my mom on one condition and that’s if my gpa is a certain number (I’m taking tons of online classes) and if I get a 2200 or higher on my SAT. I’m scared that if I tell them then no matter what my gpa or SAT score is I’ll still have to move. I’m supposed to go with my dad in the summer for SAT prep. And I’m fine with that but I don’t want to be away from my bf and not be able to talk to him. We’ve stayed away for too long. I just don’t know what to do. I want to tell them and I know deep down in my heart that I should and I have to stand up sometime to them, but should I really? And the thing is, it’s not even about the guy. They’re really controlling and I’ve broken trust many times, what teenager hasn’t? But they’re really controlling and I want to be an individual. I want them to understand that I am and was depressed. They never got me help. Not even when they saw I was cutting. I want to tell them.. but idk how. I was thinking a letter? A note? In a public place? Or just get angry and storm in and tell them. I don’t know. Please help me I’m so stressed and depressed I can’t even study for finals..