I know this may sound weird, it baffles me but I’m terrified of having feelings for people. I have a boyfriend, I love him don’t get me wrong but the feeling itself scares me. I hate the idea knowing that he could crush me emotionally at any time, it’s highly unlikely but I don’t like feeling this vulnerable. How do people deal with this? I don’t think I have a fear of commitment.
Obviously, all people are different, but in my opinion, If you aren't a little scared of having feelings for someone then you're silly xD Liking someone puts the person in a vulnerable position, and nobody wants to be vulnerable, that's why sometimes we get scared about having feelings, scared we will end up worse off because of them, or try to hide them because we find it easier than dealing with them. But, You need to face them, it's very hard to do, everyone struggles with it, but in the end it is worth it because you will become a stronger person emotionally, Feeling something is so much better than being numb. feelings are like a dark tunnel, you can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving through, you will find yourself in a better place. :) If you ever want to talk about this or anything, feel free to message :)
Well, I bet he is just as scared that you will break his heart as you are that he will break yours. I am sorry if you have been mistreated or hurt in the past. But to fully love someone with everything you have is the most wonderful feeling in the world. You deserve love and and be loved. While it scares you, just remember that your boyfriend is scared too. All anyone really wants is to be loved and accepted. Give yourself time and try to love yourself.
I know for me personally, this comes from being shit on so many times in the past. In order to fully love someone, you have to put all of your trust into them, which is not an easy thing to do for some of us. Shutting out emotions, good or bad, can be detrimental to your mental health. In order to calm your anxiety about love, you need to find the root of the problem and work through it.
Accept and realize that his intentions are not to hurt you, but in fact to love you.
I have the same exact problem, it's a feeling that when you let someone close you're afraid they'd hurt and break you in half...but there is also the feeling of being lonely...you have to love someone in your life...you have to trust someone, if you don't nobody will trust you back...vulnerability is something that can't be dealt with over night..it takes time to erase all hopelessness and start hoping with all your being...you have a talk with your boyfriend and tell him your feelings...and if he hurts you just fight back..maybe crush his ego by letting him know that he didn't deserve you anyways...you can't be afraid of feelings all your life and push away people who love you...I've tried that and I didn't accomplish much...so be brave and fight through everything...just put your nose to the grindstone and fight.... If you ever need to talk just message me...