If you’re in a relationship with someone, and they want to have sex and you don’t, so you say ‘no’ or ‘not now’ or whatever, and they bug, and nag, and be moody, and nasty and all that until you feel bad enough to just say yes to make it stop, is that some kind of abuse? Honestly this question has been bugging me for a long time, and I’ve got to the point where I’ve convinced myself I’m being stupid and exaggerating things and twisting things. I really don’t know what to think of the situation.
It is a form of abuse. It's emotional and physical abuse. It could even fall into that "lacking consent" category of rape. It's not something to take lightly and if you're in this situation you should remove yourself from it. No one deserves to be coerced into having sex.
Thank you. I was in that situation, they told me they would kill themselves if I left them, but I did in the end. I never told anybody though and I've been wanting to recently but didn't know if I was just being silly, so I could never talk to anyone about it.
You are absolutely not being silly; everything you described is horrible and abusive behavior and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm proud of you for getting yourself out of that toxic situation and for having the courage to talk about it. Stay strong <3
You aren't exaggerating at all, if you don't want it or don't feel comfortably too then you have every right to say no. They can't make you and if they are saying things like that too make you feel guilty and almost force you too then it is a form of abuse and you need to find a way for it too stop. Its not fair and the more they push it and the less you want it the more they will push you away. Just stay strong, stand up for yourself and don't let them make you feel like you have too!
I really wish people would stop saying that this is not abuse. A person coercing their partner into having sex with them when they don't want to and threatening to commit suicide if their partner leaves them is a classic example of abusive behavior - both sexually and emotionally. Coercive rape is a real and prevalent issue that people need to recognize the seriousness of. Please educate yourselves about the nature of abuse and abusive relationships before you invalidate another person's experiences.
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