I’m too shy.

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Might I ask for some help? It’s a typical problem, but I like a girl a ton, however, I’m too shy to approach her. Heck, I get nervous thinking about her. I’m 14 going into my freshman year. She’s very outgoing, while I’m the opposite. I used to be friends with her a couple years ago, but we drifted away over time because I got too nervous to keep speaking with her. I could really use some help with approaching her.

Category: Tags: asked June 3, 2014

5 Answers

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Ok, I've heard two useful bits of advice for dealing with social anxiety and confidence. The first is to literally "fake it til you make it" meaning that you just pretend to be confident, like you're acting or wearing a mask, and by doing so you will literally start to actually be more confident. The second is to separate your anxiety from yourself, treat it like your panicky little friend. Sometimes our emotions can be so overwhelming that pretending they're a separate entity from ourselves is a good way to give us some distance from the emotion so we can think more rationally. I think trying these practices out will give you the confidence to approach this person.
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Just be yourself. There might be dosen of reasons why you are feeling shy. You have to face them. Once you are fine with them you will beat the shyness on each field. Remember, we are all different but in our own unique way. If you like her, tell her on the most acceptable way for yourself. No matter what the result will be one is certain - you grow as an individual.
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I used to be in the exact same position. Thought it was just severe social anxiety so i went to my doctor and got some medication. Made no impact whatsoever. It was only when i got some great advice from a friend when things started to change. Be yourself and don't care what people think. It's gonna sound really cheesy but it worked, i walked upto her one day and told her how i felt. You just need to make sure she knows the real you, and if she doesn't - move on :)
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Be yourself. If you want her to see you as you, you need to talk to her without any lies. If you're not an outgoing person, she needs to know that.

If she doesn't like you that way and can't accept your feelings, don't just decide to avoid her for all eternity because of your wounded pride. She's probably very nice (you'd know, right?) and would make a lovely friend.

(But also, please try to remember that if she doesn't like you, it's neither yours nor her fault. She's not obligated to like you. You're not immediately less of a person just because your feelings weren't accepted. She never asked you to feel that way about her and you shouldn't automatically expect anything from her, but also remember that you are not a loser if she rejects you. You're probably an awesome person; you're not unworthy just because a girl doesn't like you in that way.)
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alright relationships be like a sea,just dive never think coldness of water or other etcs...