I’m so bad at this

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so last night my gf came round to my dad’s house as he is away on holiday it was just the two of us it was a great evening we had a few drinks and watched some films together. Which I really enjoyed we got onto to the conversation about having sex (Im still a virgin).

she asked me if I thought about it and I was like of course I have, I asked if she had and she was like yeah but she said “she felt pressured that she had to lead the way or show me how to do things like a teacher as I’ve not had it and it would have been easier if I did have and not told her” I was bit like I’ve done things with other girls and you’re not the first girl I’ve been with also there’s no set time or place for it to happen she agreed.

She also said that if I was uncomfortable with anything I should let her know for example her putting my hand on my leg but the thing is we’ve only had a quick peck that was before we went to bed. she did say though in the morning that she wanted me to come sleep in the bed but it was too dark to come get me downstairs so I don’t know what she wants me to do.

But the problem I’m having is if she wants me to be expressive with my feelings it’s a bit hard for example I was sitting on a sofa and she goes and sit on an single arm chair by herself. She also quiet to herself if you get me.

For me it kinds of gives me mix signals I have very low confidence when it comes to this sort of thing due to past relationships and stalkers which she knows about and I can’t read signs and she not the type of girl to instigate things I don’t think. I just don’t want to lose her because I’m just too nervous to make a move. Im just looking for advice or tips as im beating myself up about last night.

Thanks for reading this.

Category: Tags: asked October 25, 2014

3 Answers

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accepted
Confidence is the ultimate "fake it 'till you make it" scenario. The best thing to do in cases like this, I find, is to be horridly blunt about everything. Ask her explicitly what she would like, and what she's nervous about. There is no such thing as a stupid question when talking about sex, but there are many, many stupid presumptions one can make.

Beyond that, try not to be too intimidated by the idea of starting things yourself. Feel free to give her a kiss and see how she responds in body language. If she's positive about it - and considering she mentioned wanting you to sleep in the same bed - don't be afraid to let your hands wander a bit.

At its core, it sounds like the two of you are both in a bit of a rut because neither of you is really willing to take a step forward. It sounds like you're both incredibly nervous (which isn't strange), and reluctant to make a move lest you screw things up. The only solution for a thing like that is simply doing it. Take the step, and see how it goes from there.
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I am a little confused about the question, however i have a brief understanding, can you sum it up for me? I may be able to help as i am going through the same thing.
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Maybe she feels like you don't like her?