Im not really sure how to deal with this…

first of all im so sorry that happened to you no one should have to go through that ...when you are ready it may be best to talk about it or report it keeping it all in will in the end make things worse

Sending out lots of love and support to you. I encourage you to try to recognize that this was not, in any way your fault. You are simply the survivor of a terrible crime. You have worth, beauty, and integrity. No one, no matter what, could ever take that away. I hope that it is reassuring to know that these are feelings that many survivors also experience and have been able to overcome. I would also encourage you to speak with a therapist, or rape hotline, such as the National Sex Abuse Hotline which is 1800-656-HOPE.

Google RAINN it has an online chat like this one that's anonymous and it can help you sort out through all the feelings you're having. I went through something similar and I'm starting to feel the consequences of not telling anyone. I'm here if you need to talk about it. Just know that what you're feeling is normal. Please try to stay strong love.

Cyber hug, I send you my condolences. While I'm a guy, and don't have any experience with something like that, I thought I would share my opinion and hope it helps. I would think being afraid of guys is a normal reaction after something like that. I would encourage you to find someone you can talk to about your experience, either a therapist, someone random online you can trust, or just a friend in general. And if you randomly wanted me to be that person, send me a pm. After an end to a long distance relationship, I made a friend here, and she has helped me tremendously. Just unloading those thoughts to someone who wants to help has helped me at least. Don't be ashamed of what happened. It's not your fault what happened. The one who should be ashamed is the guy that did this to you. Just remember though that not all guys are like that, and I hope that in time you will feel much better.