I want to come out to my parents, but don’t know how


I’ve been hiding the fact that I’m genderfluid from my parents for quite awhile. I’ve started to get uncomfortable with my body recently and want a binder, but I really don’t know how to tell my parents why I want it. I do make costumes and have to flatten my chest for some of the characters, which I suppose could be a good excuse to buy one. But once I want to leave the house with one on I will have to tell my parents. Do guys have any advice on coming out as genderfluid?

Category: Tags: asked November 29, 2014

2 Answers

Hi! I know what you are going through,coming out to my family was hard too. But,I would say wait a little while,their reaction may be a little scary. I waited until I lived on my own and could support myself,just in case I was kicked out. But,if you feel you really need to come out ASAP,sit them down very gently,and tell them. Make sure they are in an okay mood,and are not upset in any way,that could worsen the reaction. But just sit them down one day,and maybe have a friend or partner with you,in case your parents snap. And just tell them what is on your mind. If you feel they will want to disown you,find a safe house. The Trevor Project is great for this sort of thing,they helped me to find courage to come out. But just have a back up plan if everything goes south,whether it be living with a friend,another family member,or going to a safe house. But just know:Suicide is NOT an option,never will it ever be. Just be careful,and always stay positive. There are people that love you,will take you in,and will care for you. Good luck!
If you don't think they'll react well, then by all means, follow El Jordan's advice. Your safety comes first. But if it's more a matter of understanding, I'd suggest writing a letter and leaving it for your parents. That way you can take the time to explain yourself without the pressure of a face-to-face conversation. You can also print out an article or two that describes being genderfluid to show your parents that your gender identity is legitimate.

Alternately, you could just ask whichever parent is more laid back for a binder without explaining anything else. If they ask, you could just respond with "I like the way it makes me look." Depending on what your parents are like, they might not even notice you wearing it out of the house. (I know my mom doesn't notice anything about what I wear.)