I'm really sorry you're going through this. Recovering from self harm when you're addicted can be really tough, but try to remember that no matter how many times you've relapsed, you're still trying to recover and that's great. As for distractions, for a long time I would snap a rubber band against my wrist when I felt the urge to cut. It didn't cause real harm like cutting does but it caused a little bit of pain, made me feel less numb and helped me focus when I wanted to just panic and cut again. Or if you cut for the marks it leaves, I've heard drawing a line in pen where you want to cut can help; not sure how well this actually works though. You could also try listening to any music that cheers you up (nothing that will just make you more depressed), write about what you're feeling, draw or do some other form of art, search the internet for inspirational quotes that you relate to, or talk to someone. If you don't want to tell people about your cutting, maybe just let them know you need cheering up/a distraction. If you can, go for a walk or bike ride or get some other form of exercise until your mind isn't on cutting so much anymore. Sorry I kind of suggested a lot of things, hopefully one will work for you