I found out I’ve been cheated… What sould I do? | BlahTherapy - Online Therapy and Counseling Services.

I found out I’ve been cheated… What sould I do?

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I’m living with my boyfriend. We are dating for almost 2 years. Our relationship used to be so wonderful and happy. We’ve always been honest with each other and cherish each other. But, a few months ago I found out that he was using MY computer (his was broken) to search and look for other girls. I was confronted with an amount of pictures (on the desktop) of me that we’ve took in our privacy along with pictures of my cousin he had downloaded from facebook were she was in the beach, etc.. with few cloths on. He went to dating sites, he watched porn. He did horrible things! We decided to go to couples therapy, and while we were having sessions, he STILL did those stuff, like searching for pictures of sexy naked girls and porn, etc. I am so tired and confused and lonely. I truly believed our relation was serious, we had plans, actual plans, of getting married, of having children. We were living our lives towards all those plans. We know each other’s family, and have a relation with each other’s family. They all treat us like if we were already married, like a couple who should be taken seriously. And, in the meantime, here i am, hopping for a serious man, a man of his word, passes by me and we fall in love so i can have all my wishes come true. I don’t know if I’m still in this relationship because i love him or because it’s supposed to be like this, out of habit. I don’t know if I explained my problem clearly enough, because I myself am soooo coonfused. Can anyone give an advice? Specially if you also went trough something like this :(

asked June 30, 2015

3 Answers

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Maggie, a man that can't see the value of the woman he's with is no man at all. If he truly makes you feel this way then he isn't worth the constant fight and emotions. Like I said before on another vent, there are a whole world of willing guys that have that undiscovered devotion towards the people they love. They may just be even better than the man that you see now. Things will get better, but the only thing you can do now for yourself, and yourself only is to make the decision if you want to put up with his ways. I'm also here if you wish to talk some more, stay strong =)
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He downloaded pictures of your cousins. For me, that's just gross. Your bf needs help. It's up to you on how much you can tolerate. I hope you choose what makes you happy.
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What is wrong with you people? Just about every guy looks at porn, it's not cheating. It has nothing to do with him preferring other women over you, it's that he needs to get off in one way or another and he chose that way.

It means that he doesn't feel he can go to you for sex when he wants it for whatever reason, but he doesn't want to actually cheat on you with another woman. You're largely blowing this out of proportion and making it about yourself when it's about him.