I feel empty..

Hello dear BT community.

The last few months were really rough for me. I have severe social anxiety and every day is horror for me. Going outside and phoning is impossible for me if it’s not 100 percent necessary. If I don’t have to, I don’t leave my home for the whole weekend. Making a presentation in school always brings me close to tears because I’m just so horribly afraid and it sometimes ends in panic attacks. I have no friends that are close enough to me to talk about that with them, quite the opposite, there are many so-called friends that wouldn’t mind if I never talked to them again.

In the last two or three months I felt really down. In the beginning I cried a lot but now I hardly do. It honestly feels like I forgot how to feel. I just feel empty and numb inside. My head’s a mess, I can’t concentrate. I don’t have motivation for anything, I feel like lying on the sofa all day. It’s not really like laziness, I just can’t bring myself to do anything. It takes me so much to do the smallest thing, my hobbies aren’t fun anymore, studying is really hard, I can’t focus anymore and the worst is I don’t even really care. I just don’t now how to care anymore. I feel worthless and as if I’m never good enough. I feel really bad at the moment and I don’t really know how to hold on. And nobody notices. It is as if I lost hold on my life and I can’t find a grip now. I don’t know how to keep going. I never thought about it before, but the last weeks I even thought about self-harming.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Can someone help me please? I just want to feel normal again.

Category: Depression Tags: anxiety emptiness asked November 19, 2013

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Anja

4 Answers

This sounds like classic depression. You need to see a doctor ASAP. Depression is nothing to sit on. Have you talked to your parents about this yet? They will want to know that you are feeling so down. Social anxiety can be crippling and your not the only one who has it. Lots of people have it. Talk to your parents about this as soon as you can. Hang on. There is help available.

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Broken 1

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I know how you feel. You need to talk about someone soon. It's so hard if you don't believe me. It'll get better in time though. DO something you love doing. It'll be ok, maybe not today but eventually.

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Brittbutterfly21

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I understand what you're saying. I think you should try to find something to hold on, something that can hold you up. For me, this is Ed Sheeran. Every time I see his face, or hear one of his songs, it keeps me holding on. I don't really know how to explain, this is weird. About 4 years ago, I thought about suicide. I almost committed suicide, but I discovered Nick Jonas... that could sounds childish but he helps me found a reason to live, and not even to survive or exist. 2 years ago, I fell again.. and this time, Liam Payne keeps me up. I've got now a reason to live, and you should find one, a reason to get up of your sofa, and smile. That won't just happen in one day, but I'm sure you will feel normal again.I hope I helpd a little, sorry for my english, I'm french.

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LeahL

Is it possible you are feeling overwhelmed with all the things going on in your life? Maybe that's why its hard for you to get yourself to do anything, because you are pressuring yourself too much into finishing things. Maybe that's why your motivation and/or focus is low at the moment, possibly that's your survival instinct telling you that you really need a break from the seriousness of things for a bit. The hobby that doesn't seem to be fun anymore, is probably because you are putting too much effort into it. Find something enjoyable and relaxing to do. Maybe a quiet time for yourself will suffice, where you just listen to yourself think. Or is there a possibility to find the mundane things that you have to do enjoyable? By adding a little bit more curiosity into what you are doing, or maybe thinking about what you are doing as an expression of yourself. Not so much as to attach added face value, or doing it for the sake of what you will accomplish after getting them done. Simply doing things for the sake of doing it. As for getting them done, that only comes secondary. For example, today, even with the tons of stuff I had to do, I took a nap. :p

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chaser