I don’t think i’ll ever find love again…

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Hey y’all, i need ur advice. I identify myself as a trans guy but i had no plans in transitioning. Anyway as the thread says, i don’t think i’ll ever find love again. And all this because of a trauma that i experienced in my first relationship.

To make the story short, i really love my ex like no one other and i feel like she lied to me and left me to be with this rich cis guy. This got me very depressed for the past 8 months and it triggered my insecurities like i wasn’t man enough for her, i lacked something that a cis guy have, etc. It’s killing me everyday knowing the she seems happier being with him and flaunting in social medias about how relationshit goals they are. It got me thinking, if only i were a cis male, i could have a biological family. If only i were rich, if only i didn’t have strict parents! This is really bad of me but i’d even wish they’d break up because i felt so betrayed and i think that that would make things much easier for me. Knowing that they’re still together is like a reminder of what happened to us in the past as i really put my heart out there and it is triggering my insecurities. If ever their relationship were to last, i think it would really hurt like hell. Even though there are times where i’ll be all happy and i seem to have moved on, deep down i know im still suffering.

It scares me to think that i might never fall in love and be in a relationship ever again. Im not really one to fall but when I do, i fall hard and it’s really hard for me to move on. My ex was like a 1 in a million luck that she also reciprocated my feelings. After her, i have this problem that i can never seem to find anyone attractive anymore. I know im still young, 19, but i also realized during the course of our relationship that if we were to have sex, i’d get dysphoric if she were to touch me so i wouldn’t allow her. Nothing and i mean nothing can seem to solve that problem. She was fine with it but i began to think that maybe she could have just compromised and wasn’t actually that satisfied. However, if i ever do get into a new relationship, i don’t know how or when to tell my partner about that problem and im afraid i might get rejected leaving me to think im unlovable and not good enough again. I understand from their perspective that it is rather disappointing and this situation is kind of unusual to where i live in. I don’t know if there are other people who also feels the same way i do. I want to hear your thoughts on this. Very much appreciate it.

Category: Tags: asked July 30, 2019

2 Answers

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accepted
Dear mystery person. And forgive me for saying mystery person I just don't know who you are lol. I have read your story and its very interesting but during the course of me reading it I have found some things that I think you should know. First it wasn't your fault that she left you, its clear that you gave her your all but she didn't appreciate it. more like she didn't appreciate you, she never really loved you man because if she did she would have been with you, and stayed, regardless if you are rich or not. second; if she left you for a rich guy that makes her a gold digger she doesn't even like the guy and if the guy where to loose his money believe that she would leave him. and that my friend are not relationship goals, at all. Third; you are worth more than what you label your self out to be, and by label im talking about how you put your self down. yes she was the love of your life, or maybe the first but the second love can be just as amazing, and wonderful as the first or maybe even better. don't put your self down over some one who didn't value you, and left you for her benefits and her desires. Fourth; see the brighter picture it was toxic she was toxic you are 19... ok 19 the last year of your teenage life pick your self up and enjoy your youth. because after that it all gets hard. you are about to enter your 20's enjoy life meet new people hook up with random people go out party,drink lol have fun discover yourself, be who ever you want to be don't rush it to find love, love will find you it will find us all eventually when the right time comes you will find someone who appreciates you, values you, and wants to be with you regardless of. but until then enjoy yourself. learn to find value in yourself because now its about you its a critical time and its all bout you let go of the past. yes you can never forget it but you can live with it make peace with it with her she wasn't worth it and shes still hurting you, don't give her the power take it away from her and dysphoria is nothing to be ashamed off , don't be afraid to open up and let people know because from experience we cant do it alone always at some time we all need help I wish you the best and remember value yourself, let go of the past, enjoy yourself , and let love find you in its right time I wish the best..... p.s yay you identify as a trans you had the courage to be who you want see how strong you are it takes guts to come out have fun....
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I think this girl is simply not your destiny. and I’m sure that you will find the right person! it's just not the time yet. maybe the ex-girlfriend has already found or maybe not, don't think that she will marry that guy. all are worthy of love. you are only 19, your whole life is ahead. here you go https://russiaukraine.dating, I usually meet new people here, they are nice there