While I do not have selected mutism or severe social anxietey, I do know how it feels to lose all of ones friends over night. (I am Norwegian, so your school system might be differently sectioned than yours) In the transition from seventh to eighth grade, over the summer vacation, I went from being accepted to being ignored. I went from having friends I could call and hang out with to having nobody I could hang out with. I am now 22, so memory of exact timelines might be a but jumbled up, but at the time I sort of had two best friends, one moved to the USA and the other ended up cutting me loose like the others in my class. And it hurt, a lot. I went through some really rough times, but eventually it just ended. I still do not know all the facets and angles of what got me through, but a cornerstone was family. I know it sucks when your family is your only friend, but then again, your family is a very good friend to have (granted that they treat you right), so I'd say go with it. Also I managed to get one new friend in all of this. This friend was even a girl! :-O Of course this meant that I fell in love later down the line, and messed up bad (by telling her), but while we were friends it felt very good. And lastly I just chose to believe in the saying that the uglier you are when you're young, the better looking you will become when you're all grown. I'm still pretty much waiting to grow up, but appart from that, the other stuff helped me a lot. So, yes, it feels like shit when you are in the middle of this silent hell, I wanted to take my own life, but literally on top of this huge drop down to a highway I decided that the one friend I had, even though we could not hang out since she had somewhat strict religious parents, was enough to have someone to live for. It still hurt after that point, but I just got through it by the means I have mentioned. So please, no matter how the situation evolves for you, no matter how bad it feels, remember that this sort of pain is your brain playing nasty tricks on you. It tells you that this crap is never gonna get better, and that since nobody cares you can might as well disappear. That is bullshit. You find something, someone to live for, stick with it, and keep the knowledge somewhere inside of you, that it WILL end, some day you will meet a fellow human being that has gone through the same, you will meet someone who really wants to be your friend. There is this quote by Timothy Delvecc that I very much like and identify with: "The loneliest people can be the kindest. The saddest people sometimes smile the brightest. The most damaged people are filled with wisdom. All because they do not wish the pain they've endured on another soul." Take care, message me if you want to, need to or whatever, and remember that you are even tougher than me, I only faught myself, you play life on hard mode with the selective mutism and anxiety! All the best - Ghini
