Hello.. I just need someone to talk to right now. I’m still not ready to talk to any adults, I don’t think I will even tell any adults , just on this ..
I don’t know who needs more help , me or my best friend ?? I know she has an eating dissorder, especially binging and purging afterwards.. She doesnt want to stop it.. I know she has depression because nothing makes her happy , and she has told me herself that she feels lonely and really upset, she told me she has thoughts of her starving herself to death , to committing suicide.. I don’t really know much about this..
And myself, well , I think I might have depression as well.. I think ive had it for a long time, but it has gotten a 100 % worse this year.. At first it was just i cried myself to sleep most of the nights, now , now it seems that I just break at any time of the day .. I get so confused why am i crying ?? But i just cry even more… I tried cutting myself about a month ago.. I dont know why i tried it ?? I was curious of the pain that it will give , i cut myself that first day when i was absolutely upset and angry , I was crying so much i could barely breath , so took the knife , i took the scissors and tried slitting my wrist .. I knew what i was doing so i didnt go too deep, i was scared of the pain..
About a week later, no one was at home just me, and i started crying again , like im in so much pain , so i turned to cutting again, i didnt do it too hard again .. But i really wanted to , i wanted for there to be a scar , but i didnt want anyone to see them , i just wanted myself to see them ..
and now once again , last night , my friend and i got into a little fight , i dont want to call it a fight .. I hate fighting.. Anyway , for the first time she said she has nothing to hide, because i was telling HER i have nothing to hide at all and im going to tell her everything as soon as possible.. So she gave me her facebook password, and told me she doesnt have anyhing to hide anymore either.. she told me to check out the messages shes been talking with her friend .. lets call her (emma) and my best friend ( lisa).. I know they’ve been friends for longer then ive been friends with lisa.. I thought i could even call emma my firend, but i think i shouldn’t have.. I found out last night , that my very best friend , turns to emma if anything happens , she tells her everything ( except about weight or suicidal or family things.. she tells me her personal things) Every time she gets angry at me and we’re fighting , she turns to emma and says very bad stuff about me .. I never thought that she would do that . No matter in what fight were in i never turned my back on her and bitched about her , EVER !! but she has.. I never thought that she would be the one to do that, and she was hidding this for a whole year , probably for the 3-4 years we’ve been best friends..
I dont know what to do.. I dont want to loose my bestes friend 
i dont but i dont know if i can trust her anymore .. im scared to tell her about how i feel, im scared that as soon as we get into another fight shell go off and tell emma everything.. She says she wouldnt, but im just not so sure about it anymore.. ohh and by the way the girl Emma- she is some two face.. I actually liked her and considered her as my friend, but she bitches about me all the time to Lisa.. and as soon as lisa turns to her and tells her about our fights , she always tells her to stop being friends with her , to snap at me , to do very bad stuff to me.. Lisa told me herself that she has told her all these stuff but she has never considered doing anything like that to me , ever, .. I just can’t believe it , is Emma jealous of me that im best friends with lisa ??? Is that why she doesnt want us to be best friends and everytime we get into a fight , she sees an opportunity to break us apart ?? God , I just really dont know what to think.. I cried so much yesterday again , and i turned to cutting myself again , this time it was deeper than anyones before.. im scared that i might do it next time again and it’ll get deeper and deeper, but i dont want anyone knowing this , i want my best friend to help me, but i dont know if i can trust her..
please help… This is just one of my deep situations for depression, there is so much more…
