I’m at a loss where to begin. I feel so overwhelmed with negative, angry thoughts. I’m boiling in resentment. It’s starting to affect my marriage, my job. And it stems from different things in my life.
1. My husband is in school full time and graduates in a few months. I’m working full time to support him, our two children together, our mortgage, car payment, etc AND paying his child support (that’s a huge issue right there). My main issue is that I graduated two years ago but while I was in school, I still worked full time and so did my husband. I literally went months without a day off – I was either at school or work. There were times I would sit on the edge of my bed and just cry b/c I was so tired, exhausted. So I get resentful that my husband doesn’t have to work at all and says he’s so ‘tired.’ I wish I could go to school all day and that’s it! I should be grateful that I make a good living to support our family and I know when he graduates, we’ll be in a better place but honestly, I don’t know if we’ll still be together by then.
2. My marriage is in shambles. We are so rude, negative to each other when we’re together. I leave for work early, come home late just because I don’t want to deal with him. It’s probably stress from school but whatever. I tried talking to him and he just rolled his eyes. I don’t want my daughters to see this and think this is how a marriage works. I fantasize about getting my own house, away from him. We’ve been together for 12 years.
3. My stepson is here for the summer. He’s 13. He’s a good kid, polite, etc but I can’t stand how his mother is raising him. He’s obese because all he does is play video games. That’s it. Try to talk to him about anything else, you hit a wall. All he knows, all he does, is video games. We don’t play video games here so he sulks around the house, will just sit and stare. We go for hikes, walks, bike rides and he mopes with, complaining that he’s tired, etc. I make healthy dinner and he wants McDonald’s. The part that I’m FURIOUS about is that I’m paying his ridiculous mother child support while my husband is in school and this is how she’s raising her child. I’m raising two daughter’s without any child support and yet, my children read books, hike, play, carry on conversation. My stepson says he “annoys” his mom so she tells him to go play his games. Whenever I try to do new things with him or tell him to do things like my children do, he gets this look on his face and goes, “Okay, yep, uh-huh.” Like, “I’ll amuse you but I’ll never do this at home.” We get him every other weekend and holidays too.
4. My husband avoids his son. He’s here all summer and my husband will hide in his room, playing games on his phone. Or in the office on his computer. Or out in the shop. He doesn’t interact with him, doesn’t engage him. When they are forced to be in the same room, my husband is very short-tempered. My stepson has no common sense, no manners, no thoughts like, “It’s morning so I need to brush my teeth, put on deodorant, etc.” He’s clueless so we spend all summer training him, helping him lose weight then he goes back to his mom and all efforts are lost. His dad and him have NOTHING in common. They are polar opposites. My husband had to run a quick errand the other day and he asked our oldest daughter to come with him. She was reading and said she didn’t want to go. So I said to take my stepson and my husband says, “No, it will be real quick.” and left. My stepson was sitting there, shoes on, ready to go. Last night we played a game and my husband barely looked at my stepson, every interaction was negative or short. My husband and my stepson’s mother never had a real relationship, it was a fling and she got pregnant – they never parented together, etc so my stepson is being raised in two COMPLETELY opposite environments. I’ve been in his life since he was 9 months old and I feel like the only parent who gives a sh*t about him sometimes.
I’m sorry this is long. I’m so scattered. I want my marriage back and I have a feeling once my stepson is gone, it will be better. If my husband isn’t going to be with his son while he’s here and leave everything to me, my stepson shouldn’t come next summer. Can I say that to my husband?
