I once believed that the pursuit of happiness was a journey to be able to find something that makes me happy. And for the longest time, I felt lost as to what exactly it was in this world that would make me happy, or to find a purpose in this world. I couldn't find anything for the life of me that would help me feel fulfilled or happily content. The best I could do was simply be content and keep pushing forward in the hopes that I would one day turn over that rock that had the fabled nugget of gold underneath it.
And yet, no matter where I searched, no matter how many stones were turned over in every corner, I hadn't even found a trace of such a golden nugget. At this point, I had believed that this was nothing more than a wild goose chase. And because of that, I stopped searching. I began to question the journey itself, as well as the many other things I had been told and taught.
It was in my wander that I began to dig up information. And over time, this information had all seemed to be leading me to a fuller understanding of how things work in this world. However, amongst all of those kernels of information, nothing seemed to be answering the question I had been asking. I continued to wander through the forest of information, as I do to this day. However, amongst my travels, there are some pieces that I believe have been able to help me with piecing together a true understanding of the pursuit of happiness.
It came to me as I had overheard a conversation between an older pair, not a couple but close nonetheless. And among the conversation I had overheard the man say "All of this pursuit of happiness isn't for ourselves, you know."
Even though this information by itself may not be able to fill the gap that most people have for this curious instance, it filled a piece in the collection of information that I personally had. And from there, I feel like I was able to piece together something that held validity, something authentic.
You see, at first I believed that the pursuit of happiness meant that one must search for the one thing that makes them happy. That, somewhere in the world, there was one thing out there that would lead to a person's personal happiness, and after finding it, they would be able to remain happy. To some, this may have been seen as a potential mate, or perhaps monetary wealth. However, this didn't seem to be the case. There were countless tales of people reaching this success, and yet remaining unhappy despite obtaining what they believed was the one thing that would make them happy. I couldn't allow myself to believe something that continues to be disproven time and time again.
I concluded that this was merely one piece of an observed whole, and not in fact the whole story. Amongst the kernels of information I had gathered, I had heard that in order to be truly happy, one should make their friends happy, make others happy. That way, they would always be treated with kindness and they would always have a reason to be happy. This, again, had a hole in it. There was no shortage of people who held this belief, to be used and taken advantage of. And even though there were very likable characters amongst the populace, these seemingly happy people had seemed to be so hollow on the inside, filled with the very emptiness that they had tried so desperately to avoid. It seemed that living for others, to make others happy, did nothing but cause the same unbalancing effects that the pursuit of one's own personal happiness through the obtaining of a fabled source of happiness did. Both of these methods seemed to do a person no good, but damage.
This was troubling to me, it seemed that no matter where a person placed their goal of happiness, it never seemed to come. However, there was one place people never did seem to place their goal of happiness. And this place was within themselves.
Like any kernel of information, I had to do some searching amongst the pieces that filled it. My search brought me through a slew of people within the spiritual community, all whom had seemed to have found the same piece of information that I had. All were promoting personal happiness, not through external means but internal means. "do what makes you happy, not what should make you happy."
"Instead of trying to make everyone happy around you, become happy yourself and others will be happy simply by being in your presence."
"If you want to find happiness on the outside, you must first become happy on the inside. Then happiness will come to you."
While all the information and speeches amongst this community had some validity, the problem was that, again, if one only focused on internal happiness, they would still be left feeling like there are missing pieces. It seemed that with this method, the world around a person was left lonely and barren. Once again, it was an incomplete happiness. It wasn't truly the happiness that we all search for.
Amongst all this information, there was yet another method that these people had shared amongst themselves. They had said that it is not enough to simply find happiness in the form of peace within one's self, but to share that happiness with others around you. It would seem that, according to them, one would be completely happy if they shared their happiness with those in their lives, whether it be a close friend or relative or a distant stranger. However in order for this to really be true and have any effect, one must always be putting out a happy vibe, always expressing happiness. However, reflecting a hollow happiness that one doesn't truly feel doesn't make one happy. That's like trying to force an emotion out that one simply isn't feeling. no one is always happy, and that is the very core that this search was born from in the first place.
Now, with this much information wringed through of its essence for its roots, I had felt that there was simply a piece that eluded me. A piece that seemed to elude many people. And perhaps, a piece that some people simply had and was not aware of its importance to those without it. And that is when I heard the conversation I mentioned earlier.
When I heard this piece of information, it seemed to stitch some things together for me. In the pursuit of happiness... One doesn't simply find something and become endlessly happy. Just like one cannot endlessly be happy by always surrounding themselves with happy people. One couldn't always be happy if it was merely with themselves, and sharing a self born happiness with others was a selfish imposition. One couldn't simply become happy by being told to be happy, or that if they followed a set of rules they would be happy. It was not happiness itself being summoned out of nothingness that made one truly happy. Happiness never had anything to become planted into, to grow out of and become greater much like a plant grows in soil. All of this searching for happiness seemed to pick the flowers from their stems, briefly appreciated as the flower's life was short lived, and no one understood why.
It would seem to me, that one must not simply find happiness, but nurture it into fruition. Everyone observed and adored the growth of any happiness, confused as to how to allow it to grow themselves. The way I see it, it is something that takes time and patience. However, nothing will come of it if the seed is not planted in the first place.
What I mean by this is, many people search for happiness without creating a reason for there to be any happiness in the first place. If one wishes to grow a plant, how would it grow with no soil, no ground for it to take root upon?
It would seem that, in order to really create happiness, it is something that has to be worked on, built up through effort. Whether it be through a project, a journey, a hobby, or even something as simple as allowing time for one's self, it would appear that the beginning of any true happiness begins with the creation of the grounds for the seed to be planted. Once these grounds are ready, the seed may be planted. And by the seed, I mean a person's 'reason'.
In my opinion, when someone searches for happiness and finds a place barren of it, this is an opportunity to plant the seed of happiness and nurture it, allowing it to grow. If you look into yourself and you see nothing to be happy about, consider it to be a blank canvas. This is the starting point, much like the blank canvas before an artist ready to paint a picture upon it. And the best part of this is, it can be literally anything you want. This is your happiness, your contentment, your project.
You don't have to start with something that brings you immediate happiness. That is where many people become lost as well. It can be something completely ordinary. No matter what it is you choose, it will grow provided you nurture it. And it is through the effort you put into it that provides this nourishment.
Essentially, how it appears to me, is that one can work on and grow their own personal happiness, however if they simply keep it to themselves, it makes it very difficult to maintain. This is when 'sharing your happiness' comes in.
When this happiness that you have grown is shared amongst others, the adoration and appreciation of it helps it grow even more. It amplifies its growth exponentially, and this is understood as motivation. When you have others interested in your happiness and sharing in it, it really helps to motivate a person towards growing it even further. And this is where passion is born.
It seems to me that this 'pursuit of happiness' is not a search to find something or someone that makes you happy immediately. It is a continuous pursuit to create, share, and grow one's own happiness so that happiness itself can manifest through it. It is by no means meant to bring a person to a single point where happiness is said to be, but instead a continuous journey for one to create and bring their happiness with them on. And a journey that others who share the same passion and interests as you do will accompany you on.
All in all, happiness isn't in fact a golden nugget hiding under a rock waiting to be discovered. But rather, a collection of all the tiny little traces of gold one finds along the way, that eventually grows into that fabled nugget, and perhaps into something even greater.
