I catfished my gf, and now she hates me. I’m not even sure why i did it? I was stupid and it was w

Hey Mark, You said it yourself, you have behaved stupidly. But don't be so hard on your girlfriend, this must be extremely difficult for her, you have lied and deceived her and broken her trust, that isn't something that can just be forgiven overnight. Saying that though, it doesn't mean that you can't be forgiven at all. I think you need to talk to your girlfriend and start explaining and apologising profusely, and hope that she is willing to forgive you in time. Be humble and most importantly, BE HONEST! Even if things don't work out, she deserves that much from you. All the best, TDZ

Yes, i know i did. But it was getting out of hand and she lied to me so i came clean and told her about it. I know this isn't "justification", yet, i screwed up. She said for me to NOT contact her at all, nothing! It's been almost a week and she said "if i respect her, then do not contact me..."I was being honest about my mistake, yet now i can't even tell her in person how bad i messed up and ask for her forgiveness....

We all say a lot of things when we are angry and hurt, sometimes we mean them and sometimes we don't. It's a difficult situation I admit. If I were the one in your position, I think I would put everything, and I do mean everything, into words, and send it to her. Then the decision is in her hands whether to read it or not. Now I know this sounds hokey, but it has a lot of advantages, she won't feel as pressured, she is less likely to get angry at a letter or email, she has time to read it over and to analyse it in her own time and way, and also has time to formulate a response. And then I would leave it in her hands. If she responds, then that is a chance to start building trust again, but if not, then I think you need to respect her decision and look to moving forward with your future with the lessons you have learnt. I know this still isn't in person as you would wish but at least it is something. If you would like to talk further, feel free to message me, but either way, best of luck, TDZ

Thank you TDZ...She was so angry. I did send her a card saying i was sorry the very next day in the mail, but she called me on the phone screaming to NOT contact her! She feels violated and rightly so. She even said she can't trust anything about me, etc...i feel like dying and a complete piece of crap....I'm worried if i send a letter she would just get angry and it would do more harm then good?

You know, a day is a very short period of time, and I'm sure at that point that she was still very angry. And I'm sure you meant well by sending a card, but they can be a bit impersonal, given that they are generic and usually quite twee, they don't really explain much and the sentiment is rarely personal. A letter can say exactly what you want it to say and can convey much more emotion. It is of course just a suggestion, but I feel it is one worth thinking about

You make a really good point. Would you like to read the letter I sent?

I sent the letter at 3pm today, and still no response :(

If you would like someone to read it, then I don't mind, but you really shouldn't expect an immediate response, she will need time to process and then gather her thought, and of course time to decide if she wants to respond at all, and if she does, then write her response.

I'm really hurt and i'm feeling like 'panic attacked' just in my day to day normal things that i'm doing and i hate it. I really thought i meant more to her and she doesnt believe anything good about me anymore...it's killing me

That's the unfortunate thing about even one little white lie, it brings into question every single little thing that has been said or done, and analysing everything to re-decide if you believe it's original intention again takes time. I know you don't want to here this, but you really do have to be patient. You also need to be prepared, just in case this really is the end. I'm not saying that it is, but you need to be mentally and emotionally prepared just in case. I'm sorry that you are suffering Mark, but hopefully your girlfriend will find it in her heart to forgive you once she has had the time to calm down and look at things without such negative emotions