Hi, I’m 23 and 6 months pregnant with my first. This is about my boyfriend of 4 years. I have come across an email of his (I found him emailing someone a little while ago that he exited out of real fast and acted really scetchy which made me ask about it. It came out the next day after he wanted me to give him money for alcohol and I said fine if you show me the email and he did). This email is entirely devoted to hookups, chats, and sexual meetings he’s had with men and women for nearly a year. He claims to be bisexual in this email but I’ve never had a clue. I’m so shocked and I feel so bad about myself. I really never saw that coming. I have horrible issues with people and trusting and it took me so long to become as close to him as I thought we were. I thought we were going to get married soon; we’re having our first child together! Then this comes out and I feel like my brain is just shutting down. I don’t know how to take this and I certainly don’t feel like I can talk to anyone currently in my life about this. I don’t have anywhere to go to get away to clear my head. I’m not working and wasn’t planning to until after I have the baby but am trying to quickly find work in light of this because right now I’m financially reliant on him. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so stupid and inadequate in my entire life. I feel stuck. Is there a group for this sort of thing or can anyone direct me to someone free to talk to? Maybe someone who’s had a similar experience? Any and all advice would be helpful on how to cope with this. Thank you in advance.
