How to talk to someone who lies?


I’m in a relationship where I don’t know what i trust the person I’m with anymore. I love him dearly but i have to question everything he does in my head not knowing if hes cheating on me or not. its been 5 years in June and I’m pretty much running out of options.

i know that its not in my head and I’m just being paranoid for example just a few days ago i was taking a picture of something with his phone and when to go retrieve the pictures and found two other women on his phone. around 5 or 6 pictures each. when i asked him about it he tells me that he was just editing them for the girls. when i asked why couldn’t they edit their own pictures he told me that he doesn’t know and that maybe they just couldn’t find an app to do it themselves.

it didn’t make any sense so i added one of the women on Facebook and Instagram. i asked her if he really does edit her pictures and she told me no and that it was a little creepy that he would have her on his phone. when i looked at the Instagram the pictures that he was “editing” were already on there from a week ago and in his album in his phone it had said that he had taken it “today” so why would he “edit” pictures that had already been done a week prior?

she had also told me that they dated a while ago in 2010-2013. for those who aren’t counting we have dated off and on since 2010 till now. she has a boyfriend now she has on her page that shes been with for 8 months so not to take her side or anything but i don’t see a reason she would have a reason to lie to me other than to start drama but i came to her to ask what was going on. of course he says everything she says isn’t accurate and told me i was being childish for asking her.

later on in the day he acts like nothing ever happened. i don’t know what to believe anymore. how do i talk to him about this and catching him in every lie when he makes up more lies to cover them up?

Category: Tags: asked December 27, 2014

4 Answers

Communication and being honest is the holy grail of a relationship... If he lies or doesn't trust or doesn't treat with respect be wary because he is not anymore the person u think him to be...
I agree with the above poster. Also you need to talk to him about it in a non threatening way and if he gets defensive or tries to blame you then you know that you need to leave the relationship because you deserve more.
When it is to the point that you can't trust them what they say, that relationship will never be the same. You may never be able to trust him again and you just can't have a healthy, happy relationship when everyday you doubt what they say. It will keep you paranoid and cause arguments and things. Do you really want to keep on going in a relationship where you can't trust your partner? And then you will eventually come to think (if you don't already) that he may of lord about a lot of other things. Someone who lies a lot like that have a mental problem of their own. Weather it is major or not, it's still a mental problem, a huge habit that's hard to break. My point is the lying isn't going to stop and you are not in a healthy relationship. You are in a relationship that you need to back out of.