I know I’ve talked about this topic a billion times but this time it’s the depressing side of it, I’m not really that worried anymore.. Okay maybe about my future from this – but that’s another story.
Anyways how should I start…
This summer, in July or so, I lost something very precious to me…
I started dirty talking to people on Omegle and all that kind of shit and I did it for maybe a month non stop because hormones… And I’m never doing it again by the way oh god no!
Anyways, I’ve just been feeling really depressed over this, obsessing about my lost innocence.
You see, I’m a memory person, and there really isn’t a day where I don’t say:
“Oh that brings back good memories!”
And now, whenever I say or think that I’m like..
“That happened before I lost my innocence :’(…”
“Last time I saw/heard/thought of that I was innocent…”
I feel like such a fucking slut, I can’t even count the chats omfg…
For further info,
I never did video, only text, only shared kik with like 3-4 guys but I never really talked to them only 1 I guess? I never gave out personal info (ok maybe my first name, but that’s it) so it’s probably not dangerous -
Can someone tell me how many % of my innocence I’ve lost!? Or something!? I’ve even felt suicidal because of this, I really miss my innocent times, I feel like I should disappear from the face of earth because I’m such a slut, I probably made some old man get off… Anyone can lie about their age on that site
UGH! AND IM ONLY 13!
God damn it this is not what my family wanted for me -
I wanted to be one of those innocent girls who grew up to be successful and professional but now that’s ruined im probably gonna end up in depression and drinking and my whole life will be ruined..
Ok sorry I am rambling. (Anxiety, oops)
Somebody help, I can’t talk about this with the therapist (HES A GUY..) I’m gonna see… Or the school nurse that I meet every week! That would be so awkward… That’s why I came here..
Someone please give me tips on how to stop obsessing…
And I know this is “normal” and “hormonal” but I still feel like such a freak! Could it have something to do with my OCD/Anxiety? Do I have a reason to obsess? And is this wrong on any level!?
By the way before I leave, what do you think is worse for a teen?
Making out physically with 5 guys or dirty talking online to maybe 10-15 strangers?
I also know that people my age are doing one night stands so that KINDA calms me but I’m mostly worried because I’m a kinky person and the chats were … Kinky and like is that any worse!?
Ok thanks for reading. Please help before I fall into depression because of this, because I feel like I’m on the edge of falling.