how to not feel sorry for yourself

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Ok so I was just reading my diary from pretty much a year ago today and it brought up old memories of how sad and hurt I was back then. (I was dealing with a breakup). I feel sorry for myself and how hurt I was. Its so sad! now i am really sad because of what I have learned now.. I feel like I should have known better.. Does that make sense? How do you all deal with not sinking into feeling sorry for yourself? Any advice would be awesome.

asked April 24, 2014

5 Answers

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accepted
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i know that feeling of revisiting unpleasant memories and all the emotions just flowing back to you. it happens to me too, it's like i've already kinda moved on in life and left my past behind, but when i try to pull off this scab all the blood starts flowing.thankfully, bleeding can stop. i guess it will always be a part of you, a SOFT SPOT. but be proud of yourself girl, coz you went through that and you're ALIVE.you will do so much better after that! don't let yourself be brought down by your bad memories again... always look forward. that's where the hope is.
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I understand that you feel pity for yourself for your past experiences. But it's okay. Remember, that life is not lived without pain and hardships. That's how we learn and become stronger.
Moreover, I think you should feel proud of yourself. Those experiences made you into the great person you are now.
Keep smiling! You've got a friend in me
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I think it's okay to feel bad for yourself, feeling sorry for yourself shows that you care about yourself and you shouldn't feel ashamed or guilty about that. I think that it shows you've grown a lot as a person. As long as your sadness isn't negatively impacting who you are currently in any big way, I think it's perfectly normal and healthy. If you want to look on the positive side, give yourself props for how much you've matured and learned since your breakup.
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They way that I see it is our experiences, especially the truly hurtful ones, are like surgery. It's messy and painful, but more times than not necessary. It's ok that you felt those emotions again after reading what you experienced. It's ok for your heart to hurt a little bit as your mind transports you back to that place of brokenness and vulnerability. Just don't stay there. Remind yourself of everything that you've done in the last year. Remind yourself that the person that you are now wouldn't be possible if you didn't walk through what you went through. You're strong. You survived that and you will survive so much more. Do something to celebrate the person that you are now (the person that you couldn't be before this experience)
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It's normal to feel sorry for yourself when something bad happens, when my first real relationship ended that's the only way I felt for months, however after a while it can turn into self loathing, it did with me at least. It took over my life to put it simply. Negative experiences, however painful are learning curves. At the time you wouldn't have known better, and that's nothing to feel ashamed about. You've learnt now and grown as a person. Everyone goes through heartbreak at one point in their lives, remember it's how we deal with them that define us as people, we are stronger than we think.