School is coming up, and I have no reason to be, but I always get so anxious (my anxiety does keep me up every night, but it’s so much worse in the fall) and every year it gets so much worse. Last year I couldn’t even touch any food for the first few days of school. My stomach was hungry, but I wasn’t. This especially triggered my anxiety because I’m genetically small (5’3″ and 94 pounds) and I’ve been called nasty things because of that (anorexic, toothpick, etc.), not that it affects how I view myself as a person, but the fact that someone would take the time to say something about my appearance only to make me upset just upsets me even more. But I was incredibly anxious about making a first impression on the teachers and the other kids (last year was my first year in a public school). I even had panic attacks in the middle of class because I was just so stressed in every social situation I was in. My heart was racing from the moment I got off the bus to the moment I came home. What makes it so unfair is that I like to sleep to put off my problems because there comes a point where I just can’t handle any more stress, but I have anxiety attacks every night. I can’t even help it, my brain just thinks and thinks and thinks of all the things I’ve done that I regret. This leaves me staying up much later than I’d like, leaving me to wake up to be a tired, anxious mess. To top it off it’s causing me to have Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome. I just can’t handle it anymore. Of course, it always helps to be sitting next to my friends, but I had only one class with my best friend (she will always cheer me up, except the few times she isn’t feeling so great herself)
Maybe I’ll have more classes with friends this year, but how can I keep anxiety down and get ahead of this before school starts?
