How to balance my feelings?


I have been struggling with this roblem for one year now. Whenever I start getting close to someone, my insecurities become suffocating. My feelings change in a matter of hours, and I’m either deeply affectionate or really suspicious and distant. It follows an irregular cycle of affection and rejection, and I’m constantly pushing the person away or begging to come back. I fear hurting them, because of my uncertainty and instability. I fear getting close because of my sudden humor shifts, and it fills me with guilt that I might hurt someone like this, but I’m also terified of being alone. So most of the few friends I have are frustrated with me because I can’t seem to decide if I want them close or away, I can’t spend much time without blowing with sudden frustration and I can’t control my emotions properly.
How can I just… stabilize?

Category: Tags: asked May 19, 2014

3 Answers

Hi first of all you have to understand why are you having those mood swings. Is it because you are going through a hard time at the moment? Is it because you are trying to get their attention? Is it because you are a very sensitive person? Is it because you are insecure in general and believe you are so unstable that none of them would last long besides you? Are you involved in any stressful activities? You have to rethink your case and understand what is the trigger of your moodiness. When you understand it, it would be able to find a balance because once you balance that out automatically your mood would be affected by it. It's the same way our body weight balances out when we get in the right amount of calories and burn out the right amount of calories. Think of it that way. I hope this helped.
Are you me because? I am a sensitive person so I deal with this all my life. You have to be okay with being vulnerable. That is actually where your strength lies. But then learn to not absorb other people's emotions/energies. Take nice walks, deep breathes. Take care of yourself do the things that are energizing to you.Write down what you want in a friend and how a good friendship looks like. Be open and honest with them. Most importantly, with yourself.
I would wonder how your childhood was. Was it difficult? If so until you process with someone what you went through you may be stuck in this cycle for some time. I am a counsellor and I can work with you. Just send me a connection and we can arrange to chat. This isn't something that can easily be answered in a few lines here. Take care, Gail