About a year ago I met this guy after a really bad breakup. We hit it off instantly and we went on a casual date and it went really, really well. He introduced me to his friends right off the bat and after always being the girl that guys would keep hidden it was really refreshing. Anyway that night we went back to his house and had a really amazing talk about like our fears and secrets and everything like that and then we ended up having sex. I felt like it was everything I had always wanted with a guy and I felt we really had a connection so I was ok with things moving so fast, but in hindsight it was a really bad idea. Anyway, we did the same thing a couple more times and then when I pressed him on what he actually wanted he said he just wanted something casual and fun, and this wasn’t what I wanted so I broke things off. We hung out a few more times as friends but then things kind of fizzled out and now we haven’t spoken for a while.
Anyway, I guess what I need advice on is that I’ve dated people since but noone seems to have stuck in my head like this guy has. Objectively I know that a relationship with him would most likely not work out, especially considering how much I’ve built him up in my mind, but there’s that tiny part of me that keeps hoping that he’ll come back into my life and want to start things up again and we’ll ride off into the sunset together, figuratively speaking. I’ve put this guy on a massive pedestal and I really don’t want to feel this way about him anymore as I feel it’s stopping me from really connecting to other guys I meet as well as making me feel a bit worse about myself (thoughts like “why am I not good enough for him?” etc.). I have friends and hobbies to keep me occupied but whenever I have downtime I find my thoughts drifting back to him.
So I guess my question really is how do I get over someone when I don’t even think it’s the person that I want, but the fantasy I seem to have built up around them?
