How Do You Forgive Someone When They Leave You?

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My husband of 13 years recently left me. He wanted a new life and was no longer in love with me. I would like to be friends with him. I need to forgive him. How do you do that?

Category: asked April 8, 2013

2 Answers

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i would start by not letting him leaving break you. whatever he wanted out of life had less to do with you and more about himself. you're not a broken person and don't expect the next love of your life to leave you just because this guy did.secondly, i would keep some distance between you and your ex-husband, to give yourself time to learn your self-value. You spent a long time sharing your worth with another, now you need to see your worth as an individual. Understanding your worth is one of the best ways to not be taken advantage of by others or keep from putting yourself down. If you feel like you can do more with your life, then take the small steps in that direction. Just know we all need time, and you deserve time. Trying to create a new bond with him can lead to further heartache and issues. Give you and him time, and if its meant to be you will develop a new friendship.
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A relationship is a partnership. If it is a relationship between friends or a relationship as a marriage; it takes two people working together to make it work. Both people have to express the want, the need, and the desire for the relationship to work.

One cannot simply say that it was all his fault for the relationship not working. If he wanted a new life it does have something to do with him; but it can also speak mountains about what it is you were or were not doing for him in the relationship. Generally there is always equal blame for a relationship not surviving.

But, I'd be willing to bet that if he wanted a new life he probably does not wish to be friends with you. Forgiveness will come with time. Friendship may never come and sometimes the only way to be a friend to someone is to let them come to you when their ready.