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How do you follow *your* dreams instead of your ego’s?

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I’m smack dab in the middle of a gap year and *just* applied to my local university for physics. Physics was the only subject of my senior year I didn’t have an issue with, sooo bam – there was my late decision of a degree.

But I’m applying for all the wrong reasons. Sure, it’s interesting to learn the principles and how it can sometimes apply to metaphysics (which I adore) – and I do enjoy the subject. It’s not like I hate it. The problem is that I’m not completely passionate about it. It’s not something I constantly mull over, nothing that gets me excited for my future. “Wow, I’m studying physics and I’m gonna do such amazing things and make amazing leaps for the scientific community!” Those thoughts never cross my mind. What does cross my mind? “Wow, I really liked telling that person I applied to study physics next year. The impressed look on their face makes it all worth it. Finally, more people to validate how intelligent I am.” …Not the most authentic reason. Being conscious of those thoughts terrifies me.

Deep down, I’m truly passionate about two things: Disney and spirituality.

Disney has been an integral aspect of my life since as far back as I can remember. The universes it introduces me to feel like home, and the characters feel like my best friends. Always have and (as I can imagine) always will. Disney World is the only place I can let myself breathe. It revives every piece of wonder and fun and innocence and happiness within me – which reverts me back to what I can sense, deep down, is my natural state. Killing two birds with one stone, right? Spirituality helped me understand and accept that. Depression is clearly a stepping stone on my pathway (wouldn’t be asking this question without it), but there comes a time when enough is enough. I’m done. I just want to be myself again.

Spirituality is teaching me to use fear as a catalyst for positivity; right now, the fear of my future is urging me to pinpoint what I truly value in this life. I am so beyond grateful for that. But when I don’t have a clue how to transpose a passion or Disney or spirituality into viable career options, the fear comes stumbling right back in.

…What do I do? How do I create a practical pathway for myself while still listening to my inner voice?

Can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help. You guys are amazing – thank you. Hope you’re having a fantastic week. <3

Category: asked March 10, 2015
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Avatar of Fleur-de-frost
Fleur-de-frost
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2 Answers

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have you thought about where Disney and Spirituality will take you in life? And i mean physically... job wise, career wise and family wise? Why can't you do all of them? that way you aren't giving up with uni and still doing the things you love. I am a spiritualist and I can tell you that its a big learning curve, you can't just become it if that makes sense? you have to learn to understand it and what it actually is as well as what it means to you? I was bought up with the belief yet I still have a lot to learn about it... maybe this gap year is a way for you to figure out how you want to use these things BEFORE you go to uni. it's only for you to decide and its a way for you to have the time to decide. hope this helps!
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Avatar of adviceguru
adviceguru
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Sometimes the choices that are available within our world are not the clearest and not the most moral choices, to start off with, money is wrong. We are no longer in the time of our evolution to still be messing around with money. There are so many things that people do that makes everyone's life worse just because they get paid for it, and if there was no money, then our actions would come down to what is least harmful and most beneficial to our species because it is no longer about the reward but the action conducted. So of course you are unsure about the choices given, personally, I refuse this system, of money, of inequality, greed.. We are the human race and we must learn to shove our heads out of our asses so we can finally smell some roses for a change, so I will tell you now, there are too many fools just taking what is given, it's time to change what is given so it is not going to be practical because we are professionals at that. Stand up and refuse money, remember your love, your natural desire to rely on others, relying on someone is a dangerous thing nowdays.. All I'm saying is be a genuine person and don't let anything put a price on you, because if you do, you will be downgrading yourself and the rest of your species will fall to the depths of hell with you.
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Rosy fart
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