how do you break up with the one you love and is mistreated by?

You need will to let go. It is never easy but you have to make up your mind and be dedicated on letting go. Don't regret anything that you have done, because at that point, you wanted to do those things. Now, reflect on them and use it as a lesson. Forget about him, love your children and yourself. No one could love you better than yourself. And plus if he keeps on disrespecting you, that's not a good environment for the children. Go out and have fun, friends are awesome! They'll help you get through it.

have you ever considered couples counceling? it can work wonders. how about talking to him about it?

if he refuses to go to a therapist with you, though, it will mean that you are the only one who sees the problem, and that he doesn't care about it (unless he offers some other method other than therapy). that's a sure sign that you'd better get out of the relationship. as to the 'how', this is the most important thing you have to accept: there is no way of breaking up that will not be painful. you will be afraid of the pain, you will be afraid to stay alone for the rest of your life, you will cling to the memory of him being sweet to you at times. don't let the fears rule you.

If he cheated on you that's a pretty big no no with kid's too but this is a sticky situation since you want to keep the family together and not go through a divorce. Before you do anything please think of what's best for your kid's.