How do I tell my super judgmental grandma I’m engaged/


I’ve got a problem here.
How do I tell my extremely judgemental grandma I’m engaged?

I recently got engaged to my boyfriend. I’m almost 21, he’s 22. We were best friends before we dated, and we’re not planning on tying the knot for a year or so.

I’ve told my friends and most of my family already, and I got a lot of congratulations and meaningful concerns, but nothing negative.
I’m just super scared of telling my dad’s mom.

My 79 year old grandma, is incredibly judgemental of me. Because my dad wasn’t exactly the best kid growing up. She seems to think I’m gonna turn out just like him, and thus she’s already deemed me a screw up. She thinks she needs to lecture me and judge me on every choice I make. And she’s not above doing so in front of my parents, even going as far as to threaten to hit me , in front of my Mom, because I was crying over her yelling at me for my appearance.
Her husband, my grandpa, just accepts that I’m an adult, and I need to be free to make mistakes and learn.
My own parents said the same thing

I’m extremely scared of telling my grandma I’m engaged. She abhors young marriage, because her older sister got married at 15. She’s told me, lectured me in fact, that I shouldn’t even consider marriage until I’m almost 30.

I love my grandma, and I respect her concerns, but I am 20, and I’m not her daughter, nor am I the child my dad was. I need to learn from my choices

How should I tell her I’m engaged? And what should I do if she starts to yell at me?

Category: Tags: asked September 28, 2015

3 Answers

This is a happy moment in your life and you should be on top of the world about your engagement, and not allow anyone to take you down. You are about to enter a commitment where no one else matters but you and your husband, and you need to be ready for that. It sounds like your grandmother shows a lot of tough love, but at the end of the day it is still love that she is showing. Respect her opinion because she is entitled to it, and respect your relationship enough to not let it be effected by her or anyone else for that matter. Tell her because you want to tell her not because you feel like you'll get in trouble if you don't, this is you showing that you are, in fact, an adult, and adults make decisions and choices without actually saying it. If she begins to yell, so be it, that is her rage and her burden to carry. If she cannot be happy for you, bless her heart and move on. I'm sure she loves you and will get over it, just remember to always maintain that respect for her, not only as a person, but as your grandmother as well. Good luck & Congratulations!
SharingTheLove told everything that should be said. But if your grandma starts yelling at you, just go to the chat page here and Vent. It helps. If the Listener is also judgmental, disconnect and move on the next Listener. Best wishes! :)
Just tell her. This is about you, not her accepting it. it's about your happiness, your future. So go ahead and tell her and if she doesn't accept it , only shows how cold hearted she is and how you deserve so much better