How do I stop being my mother’s mother?

do you want to talk? I just lost my brother to alcoholism

You save your money and do all you can to get out. Obviously talking to her is important. And, maybe you leave her in the garage one night. Help her to see what she is doing to you and if she can't find a way to help you help her... then it's time to move on and not be responsible for her. She's your mother but she has made these choices on her own.

Mothers are tricky, mine isnt a heavy drinker but she does and did blame me for the path that her life took. It is hard to see the woman that is supposed to be there for you, dragging you down. Offer her help, offer to take her to meetings, if she refuses, then I would cut your losses. Addiction is a rabbit hole that not only drags the addict down, but everyone around them down. Your intentions are noble and admirable, but the best way to care for your mother is to care for yourself.