How do I stand up to my parents?

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My parents are very strict and like to assume the worst. Once I was in a really good, giggly mood. I had just come home from my friends house when my parents started accusing me of smoking pot. They said my eyes were dilated and that I never act like that. I was in so much shock that they would just accuse me of something I did not do. I had to come up with a lie to protect myself from something I didn’t do. This was not the last time it happened also, they are constantly asking me if I drink and the ansrew is always no because I don’t and it gets frustrating. They also get mad at me when I talk to guys. I cannot even be friends with guys because according to them “all they want is sex” I think this is an unfair accusation to put on every boy my age. I cannot even talk to my gay friend without being accused of wanting to date him. I was even in a really great relationship last year for about two months, but when they found out they made me break up with my first and only boyfriend and even though that may not seem like a big deal. He meant a lot to me at the time and I lost a good thing that day. I understand they just want to protect me but I feel that sometimes they go to far. I can’t have a Facebook or any social media at all because they think something bad is gonna happen. I’m almost sixteen and I know I’m still a child but I feel like I deserve more freedom. Am I wrong? How do I stand up to them?

Category: Tags: asked November 15, 2013

2 Answers

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Your parents are being a bit too protective, most likely because they love and care about you so much. Sit down and talk to them like an adult. Explain respectfully hat you are 16 now and old enough to be making some decisions on your own. Make sure they understand that you still respect their opinions and are wise enough to make good choices. Make sure you are respectful, rather than accusing. Try to negotiate to make both of yall happy. Maybe invite one of your guy friends over for dinner with your parents, or even just to study together do your parents can see how you interact with them. Also, make sure you are honest with them and they can trust you, otherwise they will have trouble allowing you to do things on your own. If you can't get through to them, try talking to a more down-to-earth relative or family friend. Explain the situation and ask if they can talk to your parents. Sometimes it's easier for adults to understand other adults rather than their own children. Be respectful and patient, but get your point across. The more mature you are about it, the more likely they will be to treat you like an adult. Good luck(:
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I don't think you're wrong. I think they are paranoid and all of this behavior is stemmed in fear, not love. They sound very unreasonable, black and white type thinking. But as others have said, if you can basically point out their flawed logic (in a respectful manner) then perhaps you will gain their respect and they'll start seeing things differently. If it helps, write it all down in a letter so they don't try to interrupt you. If none of that succeeds well at least you're 16 now. Won't have to deal with it for too much longer. You have my sympathy.